A Poem by Nema

Written - 7th June 2017

Beautiful are these days,
Blooming trees and light sun rays.
I feel like a bird with its wings on fire,
Soaring above the clouds Never to tire.

They watch me with wonder,
And from dust pick my feathers.
But its only thou gaze,
To which I'm tethered.

Mountains tower up each dawn,
And engulf the Sun.
Winds play with my heart, 
And I stand there stunned.

A fortunate day sometimes,
Even brings down the rain. 
Takes down the dust,
And also my pain.
I live each day Always standing tall,
Each time this year I fall in love with the Fall.

© 2017 Nema

Author's Note

Open to critique.

My Review

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I love the last line: "I fall in love with the Fall". Really beautiful!

My advice is don't try and force a rhyming scheme, I felt that the third stanza felt a bit forced the way you rhymed sun with stunned. Rhyme is weird in that it can just as easily disrupt a poem's rhythm as it can enhance it.

But overall this is another lovely piece of writing, and suited to this time of year! Thanks for sharing!

Posted 5 Years Ago

Its amazing. I love this poem.

Posted 5 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


5 Years Ago

In the 3rd part i dont understand when you say "winds play with my heart". Otherwise it sounds good .. read more

5 Years Ago

Thank you so much Justina. This all means a lot :)

5 Years Ago

Your welcome

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2 Reviews
Added on September 13, 2017
Last Updated on September 21, 2017
Tags: Seasons, nature, love, inspiration, motivation, fall



Bangalore, Karnataka, India

24. Dentist. Been in love with writing (esp poems) and reading for as long as I can remember. Never tried publishing anywhere. And no idea how good/bad my work is. Looking for some advice and ideas. S.. more..