Because of you.

A love poem

Take my heart into your hands..

I'll let you feel it beat

Does it feel like its supposed to?

Warm and not afraid

Ready to brave the light of day

It's all there

It can stand strong

And against the rain

Of hate and sadness

And denile and regret

It's all there

It is that type of cuddly heart

That only few can feel

It's the type thats bold

And made of gold

Invincible and true

It's broad and beautiful

And it'll last a while

It's all there because of you.

Reviews

[Nathan Durham]

This was pure feeling. I loved it. I could feel all that was written here, as I read over it. You are truly a poetic genius. Keep it up!

[Wildecat]

This is a beautiful love poem, a pleasure to read your poetry.

[Michelle Anselm]

Take my heart into your hands..
I'll let you feel it beat
Does it feel like its supposed to?
Warm and not afraid
(I would change "not afraid" to "unafraid"... and the phrase feels weak overall compared to the poem so far)
Ready to brave the light of day
It's all there
(What's all there?)
It can stand strong
And against the rain
Of hate and sadness
And denile and regret
(Spelling: denial)
It's all there
(Again, what's all there? The parallelism isn't consistent.)
It is that type of cuddly heart
(Another weak phrase... The word "cuddly", to me, takes away the passion of the poem.)
That only few can feel
It's the type thats bold
And made of gold
(While the words mean something, the rhyming feels forced, because the rest of the poem is non-rhyming)
Invincible and true
It's broad and beautiful
(Broad? This word feels like it doesn't belong...)
And it'll last a while
(...Just a while? Just a little while? Another weak phrase...)
It's all there because of you.


Despite a few weaknesses, I can feel the emotion in this poem effectively. It just needs a little bit of work.
OK job.