Destiny in the Dark

A tale of liberation, love and companionship.

There I stood caught between the glowing.

Only a step away from vanishing by night.

A nervous excitement rose up within me,

I felt like a child on the sneak, spotlighted.

The naked flesh of my backside, dancing

with shadows licked aside by fires aglow.

The front of me pale as the stars, poised

beneath the moon to encounter the dark.

I ran, bolting into oblivion toward destiny.

Like a towering giant oblivious and strong.

Far from the minuteness felt in days light,

standing beneath the weight of mountains. 

I crashed into the song of a river flowing,

where my body felt the bite of cold teeth.

Above me the sky was cut by a falling fire,

beneath me gold-flaked sand in moonlight.

After the fire had fallen into the blackness,

and silver teeth bit no more, but caressed

me.  I wondered if I had found my destiny

in the stars and, if it had... passed me by.

That same night upon returning to bed

I dreamed that I was laying side by side

my fingers curled through destiny's hair.

I awoke, to find gold dust on my hands.   

Reviews

[Mike Cole]

Wow your piece was so descriptive and so vivid and I loved reading it

[Astro]

Well thank you for saying so Mike and thanks for the review.

[ayosonolowo]

Nice poem sir, i really like it

[Astro]

Thanks Ayo, I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading.

[shallimarRose]

This is simply a gorgeous display of imagery and metaphor. The flow is beautiful, the feel masterful. The ending was like a fantasy ..

"my fingers curled through destiny's hair.
I awoke, to find gold dust on my hands."

Beautiful poetry here.. shallimarRose

[Astro]

Thank you for such a nice compliment in your review shallimarRose, you are very sweet. Happy that you liked it so well.

[shallimarRose]

My pleasure..

[Troy Henson]

A masterful piece my friend and a dream of dreams that i wish I could have. This danced around in my head as I read this. The flow and tone just perfect. You are destined for great things my friend.

Regards.
Troy

[Astro]

Well for my sake, I hope you are right Troy and I thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for saying so. I'm kind of in a bad way at the moment and this review gives me hope. :D

[Troy Henson]

I know only too well buddy what bad times are all about. Take care my friend.

[Astro]

Will do, and thanks again.

[Vikrantsingh]

Astro this is splendid read and write. Loved it
started readin this time from both to up.. I loved those last lines :)

"That same night upon returning to bed
I dreamed that I was laying side by side
my fingers curled through destiny's hair.
I awoke, to find gold dust on my hands."

Amazing share my bro :) Simply loved it :)
- Singh :)

[Astro]

Very glad you liked it so much Singh, I do hope when I'm pouring my soul upon the page that it will be recognized as something beautifully poetic. Thanks for the awesome review.

[Vikrantsingh]

You're welcome Mate :)

[Frieda P]

Splendid imagery, sounds like a gorgeous dream that you never want to wake from. Absolutely love the last verse.

'Above me the sky was cut by a falling fire,
beneath me gold-flaked sand in moonlight.'

Love your starry night, going into my library Astro, a definite favorite of mine.

[Astro]

Thank you very much Frieda, I do manage to get it right from time to time. Honored to make your list of favorites. :)

[Frieda P]

Oh I think more than time to time Astro, just some stand out more than others, this is one of those. :-)

[Astro]

Well merci beaucoup cher, tes compliments sont toujours des rayons de soleil. :)

[Frieda P]

Oh lala...Vous savez quand vous parler français ce qu'il fait pour moi!

I have no clue if that's right, blame the translator if it's swearing at you! ;-)

[Astro]

It was purrrfect! :)

[s y e]

This is really well written, Astro - I loved the wording and the imagery. This is something that people could/ can relate to. Well done.

[Astro]

Thanks Noodle glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Jack...]

My friend, this is so very cool. I read much into this piece and feel what surrounds it. In my mind, your destiny is waiting, I can see it clear as you saw those stars. It is glistening and hoping you see it too. Perhaps you need to wash your hands of that gold dust and reach beyond those trees, for I sense the ocean calling your name. Just saying and sending my point of view. This piece was fantastic...you amze me more each day.

[Astro]

Thanks again for such kind words and great support of my writing Jack. It would seem that the time for waiting may truly be coming to an end. :D

[Jack...]

I had a feeling it might be...

[Dana Alsamsam]

" I wondered if I had found my destiny
in the stars and, if it had... passed me by."

i love this. i was camping this weekend and definitely felt this exact same sentiment. your imagery is lovely as always- you pulled me through the words easily and adventure like. that last stanza is brilliant! i like how earlier in the piece you talk about the "gold-flaked sand in moonlight" and then in the last stanza you say that you find gold dust on your hands. that is such a beautiful image of discovery. lovely work!

[Astro]

Well they say to write what you know, and while camping this weekend I was lucky enough to be surrounded by the same natural setting as in the poem, gold flakes and all. I'm glad the fact that you were camping this weekend allowed you to be pulled into my imagery so well. Hope you were having fun, or at least found some great inspiration of your own. Thanks for the wonderful review.

[Dana Alsamsam]

being in truly fresh air and around nature really did make my mind clear. and never a problem!

[Astro]

It definitely allows the mind a bit of a vacation, city life can become overwhelming to say the least. Thanks again.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Beautifully written :) I love the imagery, and I can tell you that this particular piece resonates with me both physically and emotionally; we'll leave it at that. Nicely done, my friend.

[Astro]

:D I am honored to have impressed you so much and I thank you for the kind review, my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Of course...but you shouldn't be honored by me...your words are as poignant as mine.

[Astro]

Well respect is indeed a form of honor, so I duly respect your point, but I honor your kindness.