Devil's Lair

It was a boring weekend, nothing to do but to write...

How the dust is blown away into hell
by his mighty arms,he captures you in a cell,
A man screamed repeatedly "what have i done so awful that i am in this cell!
God has left me behind,and sent me into this blind world"

He,then started to remember it all,
He wanted to become a rock-star,
did all the things that an average man can do,
he wanted more from life,
but he just couldn't follow through...

He cried as the images came into his head
reminded himself that he invoked the powerful one from the underworld,
he wished for fame and glory,
but all that was a very short story.

The demon only gave him pain and sadness,
leaving him into a complete darkness,
"I gave you fame and glory,now it's your time to give me your story,
dance with me into this last waltz of your life,
then i shall take you into a room where there is no light,
where you can only see your history with no delight".

As he remembered all this,
he felled into Lucifer's plan,
only if he could be hit by madness,
but the demon will never let that happen
"you will remember it all, feel it all, and suffer it all
that was our pact....
an infinity time for you to live behind this big wall"

Author's Note

Yes I know the Image is Iron Maiden's artwork :D (I haven't thought on any better image than this)

I guess we all need to find that stairway that leads to our heaven
"Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind. "

Reviews

[Relic]

The good news:

It has been said the great Blues man Robert Johnson made a deal with the devil at the crossroads. I think you have illustrated that idea here nicely. The devil as we know will always deceive in his barter with those who have taken to his help. Fame and glory bear a heavy price to those eager for its riches and seeking the devil for help can only bring unhappiness and things unexpected. The Zeppelin video is so appropriate for this poem and you are right in your author's note, we all need to find that stairway that leads to heaven.

The slightly bad news:

This is just an opinion and it doesn't mean I'm right.

The beginning lines are slightly obscure and confusing until you get to the second stanza. There are odd sentences that crash into each other:
He cried as the images came into his head
reminded himself that he invoked the powerful one from the underworld,
he wished for fame and glory,

A couple of rhymes are slightly forced and the sentence:
only if he could be hit by madness, is like hitting a brick wall upon first read. Overall though, it is a good poem with a cool story to it. Nice writing. :)

[Nick.B]

Thank you for taking the time reading and reviewing the poem, I really appreciate it, and yeah the story of Robert Johnson is pretty sad, taken away at 27...anyway thanks again

[Relic]

You're welcome Nick, keep up the good work. :)

[Lily Mae]

I love it all.. your intense emotion in the words and the music.. :) x

[Nick.B]

Thanks, glad you like it

[Be myself!]

This is awesome. Good job

[Nick.B]

Thanks

[Be myself!]

your welcome.

[Enid Blake]

Very dark Nick, isn't this the way of the world for many.

[Nick.B]

Thank you

[patti]

i hace to confess even thought i dont listen to iron maiden but i really love the art work... that is really good poem, it rythyms and flows from each line but yet this poems dark but beautiful just like the devil himelf, good write!

[Nick.B]

Thank you for taking the time reading and reviewing....I appreciate it

[for.all.we.know]

i really like it(:

[Nick.B]

Glad you like it

[marie]

great job, if only he had listened to God while he was still living

[Nick.B]

Thank you for the review...yeah, if only he had listened...

[marie]

well, at least those who haven't yet passed we are still able to reach, anyone is welcome into Gods kingdom no matter the sin, no matter the age, for he loves us all and proved it when hi died for us on the cross

[Nick.B]

True, true.

[marie]

:) and always will be

[Nick.B]

Religious type huh?

[marie]

christ is not a religion its a relationship with the God who made us all, its pure love flowing from him,

[Nick.B]

Okay, just curious :)

[marie]

It's alright what about you?:)

[Nick.B]

Me? hmmm...I believe that's something out there, not like in books, but something bigger than us...that's all I think

[marie]

So not really into a God then huh?

[Nick.B]

Yeah, long story between us I think...if he's there

[marie]

Well I'm not gonna try and force you into it just know that he is there and he loves you

[Quill~]

Intense read. You had me on the edge of my seat Nicky. This story/poem is dark and haunting. The devil is always out to get the most vulnerable part of us. All he needs is to find his way in. This is well written sweetie! 100/100

[Nick.B]

Thanks for your review :), and for taking the time to read this...I appreciate it...thanks Quill :)

[Quill~]

:) my pleasure to stop by and read your work Nicky.

[Acer]

Darkness, beautiful. Another great job done by you.

[Nick.B]

Thank you

[Acer]

you're welcome.:-')

[Acer]

Darkness, beautiful. Another great job done by you.

[Jack...]

Definitely dark and deep rooted and played out nicely. Cool write.

[Nick.B]

Thank you for reading and reviewing this, I appreciate it