Microstory 37: Life Hacks

Microstory 37: Life Hacks

A Story by Nick Fisherman

If you don't take these life hacks seriously, seven friends will send you a chain letter.

Draw eyeballs on your eyelids. That way, while you’re sleeping at work, your boss will think you’re an idiot and fire you. This is for when you’re trying to get fired. | I used to work at the DMV. Wait, that’s not a life hack. That’s just a fact. No, wait, I mean it’s a lie. | There are over seven billion people in the world, and you only need to kill one of them to be a murderer. This is in case you don’t know the rules for murder. | The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is true. Hold on, I think I did that wrong. | Cows can climb upstairs, but they can’t climb downstairs. So, if you want a bunch of cows in your basement, you’re going to half to build it above ground. | Every once in a while, tell your mirror that you know they’re watching you. If there’s no one there, no big deal. If someone is there, it’s a pretty big deal. You should move. | Lift with your back. | Sleep in a headstand. | There’s a preschool in New York that’s designed for adults. You get to fingerpaint, have naptime, and do show-and-tell. That’s not the life hack. The life hack is don’t go there, you creeper. | You can remove permanent marker from a whiteboard by drawing over it with a dry-erase marker first, and then erasing all of it. Okay, that one wasn’t a joke; it really works. I discovered this on my own when I was, like, 8.

© 2015 Nick Fisherman

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Okay, I'm willing to take them all seriously.

Especially the one about cows.

Posted 7 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Added on April 15, 2015
Last Updated on April 15, 2015
Tags: microfiction, microstory, short fiction, fiction, life hacks, sleeping, DMV, fired, murder, cows, stairs, basement, mirror, preschool, fingerpaint, naptime, show-and-tell, permanent marker, whiteboard


Nick Fisherman
Nick Fisherman

BE SURE TO READ MY ONGOING NOVEL SERIES, THE ADVANCEMENT OF MATEO MATIC PUBLISHED VOLUME 1 (2015): http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/624899 2016 Installments: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/N.. more..

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A Story by Nick Fisherman