I'll Never Be Afraid

A girl named Abby is crazy in love with the popular schoolgirl, Jasmine. Once on the bus, they met each other. See what happens next.

Your hands are full of blood.

You're standing in the middle of the room. You feel like you can't breathe. As if someone had ripped your chest and stabbed your heart million times.

What have I done?

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Jasmine Lin. You hate her so much.

You hate every time she showed up in front of you because you can't think straight. You hate her sweat smile and. Oh! Her laugh. Because they make you terrify, make you overwhelmed. You hate her long hair and dark eyes because you can't help thinking of them every day.

Through the half of freshman year, you were hiding from her. You can't even stay under the same roof with her! You can't stop your heart from beating every time you see her or hear her. You wish she could stay near you, but also don't want her to. You're afraid, petrified. No one ever made you feel so out of control. As if drowning. You want to swim so hard to get back to the shore, but also, you want to let the water drain in yourself, allow the liquid to numb yourself from everything.

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"Abby, right?" you raise your head, the hand searching for headphones in your backpack stops.

It's Jasmine.

You take your hand out of the backpack, stare at her with full surprise. You never watched her this close. She is stunning. You feel like you're sinking in her warm, brown eyes.

"Can I sit here?" she points at the seat next to you, "Everywhere else is full."

You hesitate, then nod slowly, drop your backpack on the floor to make space for her. She sits next to you and puts her bag on her lap.

The bus starts instantly, the engine's shaking the whole bus. You want to run away, want to jump right out of the bus. But at the same time, you want to stay in this crappy old bus forever. Sitting next to her, listening to her soft breaths, feeling the warmth beside you, sensing her hair brushing over your shoulder, and smelling the scent of her shampoo.

You love this. But you also feel like you might explode any second.

"Am I scary?" she breaks the silence, "Why are you so tense?"

My face heats up immediately.

"No. Uh... I was, uh, I wasn't..." You stare at your sweating hands, "Sleeping well last night?" It came out like a question. You raise your head and meet her eyes, which are full of concern.

She put a hand on your shoulder and gently squeezes it. Electric currents start shooting up to your arm, down to your spine, and wander your body. You shiver.

"Does it hurt?" she asks. You want to say yes, to keep her hands to herself. But every part of your skin is also begging, begging for more touch, more heat of her body.

"Nuh-no" She smiles, then takes out the other hand and place it on your other shoulder and squeeze them hardly. 

"Ah!" You pretend to scream, "If you keep doing that, miss, I suppose I could sue you for not treating your customers nicely." You fake an angry face. She let out a hysterical laugh that makes the senior sitting in front of you turn and glare at both of you. But you don't care. It might be the first time you do not care about anything when you are with her. You don't feel so out of control. You don't want to run away again. You are literally enjoying the time you spent with her.

And you do like staying beside her.

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"You're getting off here, too?" Jasmine sees me standing up, asks.

"Yeah? Right." Your house is actually five blocks away. Next stop will be closer, but you don't mind a little walking.

"You're a freshman too?" she asks, you nod, "Then why haven't I see you before?" It's because you are taking junior classes, but you don't want to be a show-off, you shrug.

"Maybe because you never take your eyes away from boys in the class."

She chuckles, "Oh! You are funny."

"Wait, if you never saw me in class. How did you know my name?"

"I saw you at lunch."

"Oh." Why haven't you thought of it? Of course, it was the time at lunch. None of the ninth graders didn't hear about that. 

"So... What happened that day?" You stare at your moving legs, trying not to make eye contact with Jasmine. You know what will be in there. She would look at you with pity. Why won't she? Abby Core, the girl who was thrown with food in the cafeteria, the weird girl, the girl who always walks alone in the hallway. Abby Core, the kid that no one cares about.

"Nothing." You spit out. Try hard to hide the feeling of wanting to run away. "It's nothing."

She knits her eyebrows, she doesn't seem like believing you.

She stops.

"I'm home." she nods at the creamy white house. "I'll see you at school?"

As you nod your head, a boy the same age as yours walks out of the house. He walks toward Jasmine, not giving you a look. He put his arms around Jasmine's neck.

He kisses her on the head, "Hey, Jassie." Jasmine smiles as he kissed her. The boy looks up and finally sees you. 

He gave you a smirk. "Oh, hey! Abby. Remember me?"

Yes, of course, you do. "Cafeteria." He mouths. You hate the smirk on his face. You're trying hard not to rush over and punch his wicked smile.

"Jimmy!" You fake a smile, "Long time no see!"

He smiles, but you know so sure he doesn't mean well. "How did you know my girlfriend?" Girlfriend? Your smile fades instantly, but you soon pull up another.

"We met on the bus," said Jasmine, "aren't you leaving?" You could feel your stomach moving disgustingly. 

"Can I use your toilet for a sec?"

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Dr. Rachel's voice rings in your head, "Take a deep breath." You do. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath.

It is a hallway that leads out of the bathroom. The hallways are connected to different rooms. When you are passing over the third room, which opens widely, you see Jasmine making out with Jimmy on the bed.

Your face heats up, not because of the embarrassment, but anger. You pass over the long hallway, you'll reach the door after a right turn. But your eyes fixed on the knife lying on the dining table.

You remember that day. Boys' laughter, your wet and sticky clothes due to the food, the students that pretended not to notice, their evil smiles, so wicked like a devil.

They must pay the price for what they have done.

You grab the knife handle in your hand. A wild satisfaction runs all over your body. Your body is quivering, because of excitement, because of enjoyment.

You stare at the third room, lips curve up into a smile.

Author's Note

I am not a native speaker. If I've got some grammar mistakes, feel free to tell me;)