Subtitles

Confused, aren't we?

seconds last twice as long during the work week
and half as long on my days off.

all these people I've known

                                  all the people I've been.
 
        deny me a kiss

                        in a vegan cafe,
 

while local indie musicians play some local indie music that I've never heard before.

            and it's good.

and this isn't it:

"Were caught in a trap.
                   
                   We can't walk out.

   because I love  you too much baby"

but that's line keeps sneaking in
between
my concious thoughts

martial arts movies
                                      snoring puppy
                              stacks of dishes  

                           in the mental sink

maybe I'll go on a bike ride.

                                      on second thought, no. I don't want to.

I'll just play some guitar.

my gestures and non-gestures should come with subtitles.
                                
                     I'm hungry but i don't want to eat.
    I'm thirsty but i don't want to drink
               I'm restless but i don't want to leave.
 I'm thinking but i don't want to think.


I'm all of these things.

              what are you?

Reviews

[Amandalyn]

I really love the stucture of it. It's like all your thoughts are floating, coming and going. Which would play into to your title because the way it's set up it's confusing to the reader who is use to reading in a straight line. I really love the line "Deny me a kiss in a vegan cafe." For some reason that line stood out to me. Overall I think you really were able to capture the confusion of the moment.

[Hotel Mornings]

This is clever. I like the repetition in some of the lines and the feeling of frustration in the ending lines: "I'm hungry but I don't want to eat, ect." I get those bothersome feelings in the pit of my stomach all the time and I think it's some of the most frustrating feelings to go through. The subject matter is interesting and I love the form (I like experimenting with form even though it may not always work out). good read!