You're the Vampire of my Soul

You're the Vampire of my Soul

A Poem by Nomkhumbulwa
"

Its actually a song, hence it may not make full sense or read correctly. It fell out of my head in the middle of a painful night, I sing it along with the Mbira.

"
You took everyone I knew,
All my friends, all my family,
You left me with no dignity,
Made sure everyone hated me.

I never knew you were cruel,
Thought I an abnormal child,
For my identity you stole, 
Now all I want to do is hide. 

You're the vampire of my soul,
You left me in the cold, 
I'm so cold and alone,
You're the vampire of my soul. 

All done in silence behind closed doors,
Made sure everyone thought otherwise,
You're cold narcissism used its claws,
You completely tore me up with your lies. 

I never knew I could feel so alone,
But now everything I thought I knew is gone,
Cant trust no one, dont know whats true -
People believe the twisted lies you told....
Cant trust no one dont know whats true, ...
People believe the twisted lies you told. ...

I don't see you as my mother, 
I dont even know who you are, 
All I remember is fear and shame,
I dont even like my name. 

I live the shame, I live it everyday,
You sided with a rapist, turned me away,
It may well be hidden but its clear to me, 
But covert narcissisms not there for all to see. 

I bleed for you mum,
I let you hit me in the face,
Justified your behavior,
I'd always been a disgrace. 

I know that you cant love me,
I hold nothing against you,
But the way you tore my life apart
Till the day I saw the truth

But where do I go from here?
In this dark and empty space,
You stole everything from within me,
To believe in the human race. 

I'll never be free of you until my dying day,
Tho we hardly speak, I can feel you pulling the chains,
A victim of cover narcissism lives in constant pain,
Invisible on the outside, but im full of internal pain. 

Betrayal, denial,
Blame, and shame,
Its covert narcissism, 
And this is their game.....

© 2019 Nomkhumbulwa


Author's Note

Nomkhumbulwa
Its a song, so it may not read correctly as I had to somewhat alter it to play along with Mbira. The chorus is the verse of the words of the title.

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Added on June 5, 2019
Last Updated on June 5, 2019
Tags: Stole, hate, Narcissism, identity, hide, vampire, soul, cold, alone, silence, lies, trust, mother, shame, blame, fear, rape, bleed, love, dark, pain

Author

Nomkhumbulwa
Nomkhumbulwa

Arran, Saint Helena



About
My background is more in line with scientific writing, as I have submitted theses for both my Bsc, and Msc. I started writing poetry unexpectedly, after suffering an assault, and losing my entire fam.. more..

Writing