Adventure of Philip

A short story about butter. Unfinished.

Once upon a night, there was a fellow by the name of Alan. Alan was a simple man. No wife, no children, no friends, no coworkers, no worries. However, Alan had a dog. Alan also had a calculator. Alan had decided to leave his home for once as he needed some butter. He had never done such a journey and he did not know what to expect. He applied his shirt and activated his pants. Peeking outside, Alan saw no other people and felt sad. It had been a while since he had saw another face. He decided to wait inside his home until he heard another person walk by. He sat there for around half a day until suddenly, he got a better idea. Swiftly, he opened what he saw or rather what he saw before being blinded. He did not know that sometimes when he opened the door, a yellowish circle would appear. He noted this and told himself to remember this fact. He called to his dog and prepared to walk to his neighbor’s house. 2 days and 30 miles later, he reached the first sight of another home. The house had a sign that said “Vinny” outside. Alan stepped up to the doorstep and knocked on the door. Alan waited for a few minutes. After no one answered he decided that it would be better not to tempt fate. As he turned away, his dog would not leave. Pete, that was the dog’s name. Anyway Pete would not leave the doorstep. Alan was confused, Pete normally wouldn’t get up to go to the bathroom, sitting in a pile of his own filth. Alan could not move Pete and while he tried, the door opened.

A wild-looking girl stood there. Her golden hair flipped in the air and she questioningly asked, “Hello?” Alan had forgot that introductions were common and required among people. He racked his brain for an introduction however, he could not remember the last time he said an introduction.

“Hello," he mirrored.

“Umm, do you want anything," she asked.

Alan questioned, “would you like to get some butter with me?”

Alan was confused by the look on the girl’s face. Perhaps she did not understand the concept of a yes or no question. Alan himself didn’t understand how to answer such a question until quite recently.

“Sure, let me get my things” she said. Alan then waited for the girl to gather her items. He then remembered that he forgot to ask her her name. He noted that talking to other people was difficult and should be avoided in the future. After a while the girl had still not returned however, Alan was not worried as the girl had said she would be joining him in his journey. Only when a note slipped under the door that said “leave my house you creep” did he start to worry. Suddenly, he heard a crash. Entering the house through the window, Alan saw the girl lying on the floor.

“Get away," she screamed.

“Would you like to get some butter with me," he repeated. Obviously quite surprised, the girl stopped panicking.

“What," she asked. Alan sighed, the girl was obviously not very intelligent nor very sociable.

“Would you like to get some butter with me," Alan asked once more.

“Will you leave me alone if I do," she asked. Alan was disappointed, the next time he needed butter, he would have to do this again, which would override his note earlier.

“Yes," he replied. The girl then actually when to gather her items to prepare for the trip.

“My name is Jackie," the girl told him as they left the house. Noting this, Alan continued walking making sure to not forget. Jackie started to wonder what was wrong with the boy beside her, as she had expected (and rightfully so) his name in return. “So what is your name," Jackie finally asked.

“I’m Alan," replied Alan. He had forgotten that he needed to introduce himself once again. He wondered what other notes he had forgotten over the years. As they were walking, Jackie decided to take a good look at Alan. His blond hair would look better if he bleached it, she thought. His Lego shirt and cargo pants were very unappealing. He was barely a 3 out of 10, she decided.

After 5 minutes of starting their journey, it started to snow. Alan, who was unfamiliar with such an event, noted that sometimes tiny, white packets of cold fell from the sky, just like that time he opened his attic. Jackie was slowing beginning to regret her decision to help Alan. Jackie then realised that she had no idea where they were going. Jackie also did not get out of the house frequently. She usually did not need to buy items since she had her own farm. “Do you know where we are going," asked Jackie.

“Eventually we will reach somewhere with butter," replied Alan. Jackie stopped.

“You don’t know where we are going," she yelled.

“Yes, but you also do not know where we are going," Alan explained. Alan found Jackie’s reaction very hypocritical. Clearly she was accusing of a fault that she was expressing herself. Alan found this highly irritating. Alan noted that he should find someone else to join them on their journey as he did not believe he could tolerate Jackie for more than around 11 days. Jackie could not believe Alan, here was an unattractive boy that had no idea where to get butter. She started to think about to abandon Alan without him noticing. She decided that she instead should get a replacement. The pair came over a hill to see a town. A sign that hung down said “Buttertown”.

“Look, this is literally Buttertown, they must have butter," exclaimed Alan. Alan smugly looked at Jackie. Jackie disregarded Alan, she was just excited to go back to her home. It had already been 2 days and she was absolutely sick of Alan. They descended down into the town. Alan looked unconformable.

“Getting cold feet?" teased Jackie. She had learned over the 2 days she spent with Alan that he was not a very sociable person nor was he very intelligent. She looked around and tapped the shoulder of a girl.

“Hello,” the girl responded, “You guys from out of town?”

“Yes,” replied Alan, “we are looking from some butter”. He liked this girl, she didn’t seem to mind that his hair was unbleached, which more than could be said of Jackie. All of a sudden the girl pulled them close to her.

“Don’t talk about butter around here if you want to stay alive,” she warned them. She motioned them to follow her. They walk passed most of the town reaching the edge of the town where they stopped in front of a manison. Slowly, the trio made their way up the golden, sparkling stairs that led up into the house. Jackie was really regretting her choice to come with Alan. At first it seemed to only be a trip to get some butter, now they were going to some weird house.

“What’s the deal about butter?” asked Jackie.

“Wait until we’re inside,” said the mysterious girl. After the entered the house did she introduce herself. Alan noted that perhaps it was fine to give a delayed introduction and felt a little better about what happened when he met Jackie.

“My name is Ana,” the girl told them, “ and butter has been a banned substance in Buttertown for 2 years now. The people were getting too fat from eating pure butter. It really became an issue when the mayor died and was found with large blocks of butter in his rectum.” Alan was wondering what kind of mayor would use such a crude method. He noted to himself that he really should experiment with such a method when he obtained some butter.

“The digestive tract stopped working, it not what you are thinking,” whispered Jackie who had herself been thinking along the same lines.

Ana continued, “When our new mayor stepped up into office his first law was to ban all butter. The people were outraged, as butter had been a way of life. However the matter was out of their hands as the mayor had the support of many other towns that had enacted the same law. Without butter, our people didn’t know what to eat. Since then we had replaced butter on our tables but never in our hearts.” Ana looked wistful as she finished her summary.

“So there is no butter anywhere?” asked Jackie. This seemed to her as being a one town problem. There was no other was people were going to eat pure butter anywhere else than Buttertown.

“Yes, there is a ban list in all of the town within a 10000 mile radius of here. Butter is just one of the items on the list,” said Ana. This surprised Alan is he knew just about of everything going on. He did not have many things to do staying in his home all of his life, but he did manage to observe others with a telescope. He had written his notes from that somewhere but it had been too long ago from him to remember.

“This is it, I’m done!” Jackie exclaimed, “I’m not helping you anymore Alan, goodbye”. She turned to leave.

“I’m afraid this affects you too, Jackie,” said Ana.

“How do you know my name?” Jackie asked as she whipped around. She suddenly wondered if Alan was just to get her here. She questioningly looked at Alan. He seemed to be a dumb as ever. No problem there.
“You and Alan here are the only two people that live outside of a town,” replied Ana, “However that hardly matters now”. She suddenly grabbed them both, and lead them towards another staircase.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems.