Alone

One of my darker poems??

Before you wake up again,
I will take that walk to the river
The meadow
And the dark, promising woods.
Alone.

Before you wake up again,
I will put green leaves
Mix it with black cloves
And boil water
Sip my morning tea
Alone.

Before you wake up again,
I will hide in my closet
And write a bleak poem
Undisturbed
Alone.

Before you wake up again,
I will sleep with open eyes
And close my eyes for ever awakening
Narcissistic dreams and sadomasochism
Alone.

Before you wake up again,
I will add little, white pills
In your glass of water
Beside your head
And stir them until
I see clarity, undistinguished
Alone.

When you wake up,
I won't come to see
Your messed up self
Your potent, sweet morning smile
Your fragrance that would fill the room
Because
You will be Alone.

When you wake up,
I won't be able to hear your sweet voice
Calling my name
Seeking my broad shoulders and reliable arms
For comfort and other things
Because
You will be Alone.

When you wake up,
I won't see when you pick up the dreaded glass
And sip away or gulp
Engulf
In all the morning water
Because
You will be Alone.

You will be Alone
When the sunlight would dim
The curtains would close by themselves
The room will swirl in rages
Hey, tempestuous storm.

You will be Alone
When moaning cries would emanate
And raging shouts
And agonizing pain
Untold.

You will be Alone
When love will be still unfound
Appalling surprise
And eyes stare with bewilderment
How?

You will be Alone
With the last silent tear
Which will befall on the last unmade bed
Where love wasn't made last night
Still Warm.

You will be alone
In that grave
Improperly dug
Unceremoniously homaged
Hideously Obscured
Nowhere.

You will be alone
When your beloved cat will sniff
Over the ground and overgrown grass
Beneath which lies
But You.

While I would be laughing like a devil
With someone just like you
Somewhere just so far
From you.
It's me, after all.

© Nothing Personal. January 11, 2011.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading :-) :-)

P:S I am becoming increasingly format obsessed. let me know if you find the format or the repetitive scheme any good? I appreciate your comments. And thanks to EH Monroe for putting me in cat vomit. I was reborn.

Reviews

[Method To The Madness]

Really enjoyed it but maybe you could have broken out of the format just a teensy bit.
Just for emphasis I mean.
don't force the format or add new lines that don't really work just to keep the repetative scheme going.
but I still liked reading it.
:)

[KAREN]

This was excellent write and great flow!

[Stacey]

I really enjoyed how you've formatted this verse. You've laid it out as you want it read...nothing wrong with that at all! While reading I kept waiting for the next verse to start "If you wake up"...lol! This is a little darker than you normally write, but I appreciate and even got a haunting, almost creepy feeling. I am going to gaurd my glass of water on the night stand from this day forward:) Wonderful write and good on ya for stepping in to a different direction!

[SpokenWord]

format? what is that? Uh oh don't tell me poetry has a form to it! Usually I don't like repetition as it gets stuck in my head and I hear it ringing out loud for hours on top of hours but yours was spread out far enough not to have this affect.

I can relate to this poem on another level, great write!

[Jeffrey Gershom]

When I started writing poetry long ago, I was obessed with format. Yet, over the years I have come to realize that it's the emotion...the feeling that's important. The format is window dressing; well, not always, but it seems to inhibit the importance of what needs to be said. Just me.
I almost to forgot to review your poem...I'm still recovering from yesterday's winter storm. I thought it was deathly rich. To think such thoughts is too forbidden for me. I'm glad you thought about them for me. Lol

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

The first stanza confused me, but the rest was brilliant!

[Augustus]

Rather potent and macabre and becomes increasingly so with every stanza. I did not get the fuss over the format though. The repetition of course helps drive the point home, but I couldn't really identify any strict adherence to structure. And frankly I don't think the poem needed any. It flowed along just fine. My only real criticism is that it was a bit too long. And in that sense the repetition sort of worked against you, and imho, the punch was weakened somehow.
Nonetheless, the poem is very well written.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

this is such a deep and profound piece of poetry, my mind has totally been blown from reading this. i think your format on this is fantastic! this whole poem makes me think about so many different things all at once, its almost overwhelming. but i love this! your doing great!

[OT]

ooo some great metaphors in here - but it has to be the notion of the pill becoming clear that got me!! you know I like a detail haha I also liked the form - it wasn't strict - and was free so added to it - with free verse it's much easier to mix up form! which is why you're good at it! I liked how the last line changed slightly as we progressed!!! shame you killed them though :( haha needless to say = I like!!! a lot!

[Stef Outsiders]

The format is different, wasn't tricky to read either which is good! it flowed well, your character sounded evilly wicked but i enjoyed it! well done!

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

this poem has genuinely expressed the emotions out bursting within thy self .....i like how this poem written in a detailed manner....