closure

Philosophical or Psychological, whatever it be

Momentous fame came across the way
Gladly calling with it
a series of misfortunes;
Seared edges, rocky beaches and disappearing sands
would be the places to travel
Pack the bags with a towel
and few sashes of love potions
Let's have fun
tonight,
till the last train,
the last black wave rolling into the now invisible sea,
washes our sinful feet.

Your lips are moist with desire,
you should rather think of cottages in abandoned mountains
with a trailer parked outside
Beckoning jungles, outside the only window
but who could have time to stare.
Not even when blood starts flowing by the rivulet
and strange, queer sounds rampage the jungle
trees move uneasily and snakes stop crawling.

Instead hotels are being booked,
the raging storm starts blowing,
brewing in fury,
angry lashes at the dam,
the assortment of rocks however, it fails to break.

Unknown is mysterious because soulful tears
have not yet been shed.
The smell of foreign is
exotic and deeply buried
in mind's intertwined, misbehaving, grizzly maps;
(I haven't become xenophobic)
Maps that point to nowhere
But destination is not sought
escapade and unreality is.

Once again to emphasize
Pizzas and hot chocolate is good
on sunny days gone wrong.
The grin, the promise, the hope
is always there as long as
Nick Cassavetes directs hopelessly
time unbound fantasies,
opening doors can illuminate
and lead to deeper meanings,
impossible connections between sleeping eyes
and desirous, naive heart.

Unpromised commitments are also good
Seek the corners of the restaurant to
look into those eyes and think over the
leniency of thumping heart.
when asked to choose,
she will make the right choice
is the hope and when hurt
she might kiss back
is the expectation.

Right now,
the car is either winding along slithery mountain roads
to visit where cameras from above can discern
or two pair of legs are heading towards the quiet sea
as the moon has asked
for a solemn rest
tonight


© Nothing Personal. March 4, 2011.

Author's Note

Before hopelessly falling in love,
they had closure
But did they?
Was it an illusion of sorts?

Reviews

[Lilly Negoi]

i was reading this and saying to myself "this is good!" and then i came to
"she will make the right choice
is the hope and when hurt
she might kiss back
is the expectation"
which is excellent! and from my point of view it gives whole new valences to the write.

[Julie Beth]

great job i loved it :)

[CalebSchadeck]

i think this describes a picture of a city block, a busy one (this is just my take) but very very good job

[Loner]

Beautifully expressed ...... good job !

[Arabdha]

powerful,thought provoking..and philosophical..very well written..enjoyed the read

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Brilliant beautiful imagery! So well written.

[Emily B]

your author's note hit me hard

[Alicia Schroeder]

hmm.. got me thinkin.. great write

[mudnub]

I'm having trouble understanding what you were attempting to convey in some of these lines. For example your opening line tells me that momentous fame is rolling across the land. Something is momentous if it is a moment of great significance. I'm unsure as to what is momentous about this fame? Fame is usually a state that lasts for quite some time in a person's life and I'm not sure you could describe fame as momentous. You can make a momentous decision or witness a momentous act but I don't think you can be momentously famous. The image of momentous fame rolling across the land is also awkward because fame is an abstract concept and telling me that fame is rolling anywhere does not create an image in my mind. Finally you tell me that the momentous fame is gleefully calling with it misfortune, which still does not convey any concrete imagery to my mind. I think you are obviously enthusiastic about poetry and some of your lines in this piece are strong, but I would suggest that you focus more on the exact meaning of your words- poetry depends utterly upon your mastery of the meaning and precise placement of the words you use and I'm not sure that you are in control of your word choice or imagery. Try writing a poem that does not contain any abstract words such as 'love' 'fear' 'peace' etc- only write about the concrete.

[Richard Williams]

A power impact with memorable images. Well done for sure.

[OT]

ah philosophical indeed - wonderful flow and imagery in this piece - descriptions are so strong (you know I like my descriptions ha) - I love:
"Your lips are moist with desire,
you should rather think of cottages in abandoned mountains
with a trailer parked outside
Beckoning jungles, outside the only window
but who could have time to stare."