7 Deadly Sins Sonnets -#1 Sloth

This is the first of seven sonnets concerning the Seven Deadly Sins, as defined by the Catholic Church. They are older poems that I wrote in High School.

He moves slower than the slowest of snails.

He neither comes nor goes to work or play.

Never awakens to the alarm bells,

All he does all day is in his bed lay.

He refuses to be speedy or quick.

He would never move in a big hurry.

He can hear his death clock slowly tick,

Moves with absolutely no energy.

To choose to move with no more of his zeal,

To lose that virtue of motivation.

All he becomes is skin and bones, ‘til

He lost the skill of speedy reaction.

Sloth makes you so your not your very best,

First deadly sin, not as bad as the rest.

Reviews

[Nyghtmare13]

I will be rewriting this when I get a chance.

[Nusquam Esse]

energy doesn't rhyme even a bit with hurry. I would recommend as a better fit with hurry, the word worry, "All ends regardless; why should he worry?" You also over emphasize moving, when sloth is more than just that. I must say though, I really like your final two lines here. As always, check syllable counts.