Alone

I am alone. I don't know how to explain it, but I know I'm alone. I fit into no single group of individuals, nor do I want to. My motivations, my ambitions, if they can even be called so, are mine and mine alone. I am alone, and usually I love it, but there are days when I want to break down. not breakdown and cry, but just breakdown and disappear. Would I truly be missed for me? Would I be remembered for the right reasons? Or would the real me me disappear and rot away with my corpse? Is there anyone who knows the real me? these are questions I frequently ask myself. I sit and observe people, with their wide smiles shrouded in ignorance. maybe that's why I can't be happy. I know too much to enjoy everyday life. With enlightenment comes neither happiness nor sorrow, but fulfillment, and everyday it feels I grow farther and farther from that sense of fulfillment. Maybe that's what I'm missing, someone just as enlightened to share with me my suffering.