The Mary’s Book

A Story by Oktay

How a figure of authority can affect two people at different times. A bit experimental with the integration of titles and bold font.

The Mary’s Book

I used to have a book: 100 Things to Do Before You Die. Mary told me that it was a gift from my father. He didn’t give it to me in person; he was long gone before I was born. We lived in a small cave, my siblings and I. We had no idea where our parents were; Mary was the only one who knew about them. Mary was the one who had raised us and taught us about life. She gave me that book when I was 12 and made me swear that I wouldn’t tell my other siblings about it. “They might get jealous,” she explained. I liked having our little secret. It made me feel special.

Until I was 16, I didn’t read that book. I looked at some of its pictures but didn’t like what I saw there. They reminded me of my older brother, Phil. We used to play catch when I was 8. I wasn’t good at it. One day, Phil left us. Mary was furious. After three months, he was back with a young woman. She reminded me of my earliest memories of Mary: beautiful but calm. When Phil returned, Mary didn’t let them inside the cave. “You abandoned your home,” she cried. Phil was confused; he thought he was home. Even during the wedding, Mary didn’t leave the cave but let me and the others join them. Phil seemed happy, but his focus was on Mary’s empty chair, not his new wife. The next day, he wanted to talk with her, but she didn’t want to see him. That’s when he stormed inside the cave. After a few tumultuous minutes, Phil left the cave. After some time, he was back with a book. He seemed hesitant. They weren’t arguing this time; I think I even heard Phil sob. He left the cave with Mary’s hand on his shoulder; his face showed signs of defeat. After that day, we never saw that young woman again.

After another three months, Phil was getting married again. Mary shouted at me for using the word again. She made me swear that this was Phil’s first marriage. I hadn’t seen the bride until the wedding night; I don’t think Phil had either. While Mary and the bride were shopping for the wedding, Phil stayed with me. We didn’t play catch; we just sat together. He sometimes mumbled a few words on random stuff like the universe and death. Mary hated these types of talks. She always said, “Nonsense, God has a plan. Don’t think much about it.” The wedding went fine. The bride looked genuinely happy. As she walked the aisle with Mary by her side, I remember Phil mumbling, “You, fool.” After the marriage, Phil left the cave for good. Mary was happy. I can’t say I missed Phil. Mary was here for me. She said that she sometimes went to visit Phil. One day, she came back to the cave elated. She shouted, “He is going to have a baby!”

I remember asking Mary why she never got married or had any children. That was after we had been to Phil’s son’s first birthday. “I have all of you. You are like my children,” she replied. Every Sunday, we had a family gathering. Mary talked to us, individually, about our lives. Phil and his wife stopped coming to our family gathering after their first son was born. “They are their own family now. They have their own home, their weekly gatherings,” Mary explained. That’s when I learned that Phil wasn’t my family anymore.

When I turned 16, Mary wanted to talk to me about the book. She urged me to start reading it. She wanted me to complete the first 20 entries before I turned 22. For the first time, I opened the book to read it. The images didn’t feel odd. I read the first title, “Spend fun time with your younger siblings.” I searched for a younger sibling, and then I found Sal. We played catch together. She wasn’t good at it. One day Sal got ill, and I went to visit her. Mary stopped me at the door, “The book says fun time. Don’t worry about her, you can play with Luke”.

Title 2: Learn how to do your laundry(if you are a man, skip this step)

Title 3: Go to the weekly manly cave gatherings(if you are a woman, skip this step)

I didn’t know what I was. I felt like neither. I wasn’t a man like Phil nor a woman like Mary. Mary was shocked when she heard that. “The f*ck you’re talking about?” her voice trembled, “if you have a d*ck down there, then you are a man.” I didn’t question her and started going to the manly cave gatherings. They talked about football and women all the time and were very bad at playing cards. I didn’t chat with them and won almost every card game. One day Mary told me that I made them feel inferior. She took away my books, and soon I was like one of them.

Title 15: Get a Job(if you are a woman, housework is your job)

Title 18: Find a Suitable and Affordable Cave(if you are a woman skip this step and instead let Mary guide you)

Title 20: Marry the person you love Let Mary show, whom you should marry.

I was 21 years old when Mary showed me a picture of a girl. She looked younger than me. “You are getting married next Sunday,” she said. She put my hand in her hands, “you can invite your buddies.” I asked her how old she was. She played with the ring on my finger, “Old enough. No need to rush, though. The first months of marriage are for getting to know each other. I heard that she is well-behaved.” I didn’t say anything. I wanted to take her picture. “Don’t do anything stupid,” she warned. I didn’t know I was going to. I just wanted to learn her face, but she put the idea in my head. F*ck, why would she say that?

The next day I felt dizzy. I wanted to kill myself. I still went to the cave gathering. They were talking about yesterday’s game. Kyle shook my hand, “You were right.” I nodded. I noticed that Phil was there. It was prohibited for the married to come to manly cave gatherings. He was drunk.

He approached me, “Oh, brother! You’re late.” He put his arm to my shoulder, “I hear that you are getting married,” he spoke to my ear.

His breath made my ear itchy. I turned my face to him; he was a few inches taller than me. His blue eyes were hooded, with no trace of life in them. I told him that he shouldn’t be here. He smacked me on the back of my neck; it didn’t feel playful.

“Come on, brother, don’t mind me. You know my wife is a mess. Mary said she can handle it,” he sighed, “So tell me, is she pretty? Mary said you have a picture of her, show me!” I shook my head.

“Come on, show me,” he insisted. I took the picture out of my pocket. I was going to warn him, but he snatched it.

“Oh… isn’t she pretty? I bet she’s got a nice a**. Meaty, like her cheeks,” he grinned. The way he looked at her revolted me, but I didn’t say anything. Expecting a response, he looked me in the eye. When he realized I was staying silent, his grin started to fade away.

“Oh, please,” he put his hand on my shoulder, “Don’t give me that look.” I took a step back, then punched him in the face. My punch wasn’t strong, but it made him stumble to the ground. I tried to take the picture from him, but his palm was closed. I crushed his hand with my foot and took the picture.

As I was standing up, I felt Kyle’s hand on my back, “What the f*ck, man!”

“I know him. He a f*g,” I spit on Phil’s face. Kyle didn’t question me and started kicking Phil. I didn’t look at them. I didn’t want to see Phil. Without any hesitation, I left the cave and walked into the woods.