Beautiful Things

I'm going through a lot

I just want to write beautiful things about us again

I want to show the world how in love I am with you

I don't want to write stories and songs and poems 

about how much I miss you 

and how much I'm hurting 

I want to tell the world how beautiful you are

I tried writing this a thousand times 

It's too painful, I can't

and I know you're happier without me 

and I'm doing the best that I can 

but I feel like I can't keep my head above water 

and I'm drowning 

pathetic 

and the world is getting colder and distant 

like when tragedy strikes 

and the whole world stops 

my insides twist 

and my heart gets hot and burns up

into ash 

every time I see you 

my stomach sinks 

my heart aches 

and my head thinks of a million things to say 

but we just pass 

and keep walking 

farther and father away from each other 

I stay as strong as I can 

but I'm sitting here 

writing this 

wishing I could write those beautiful things 

about us 

once again