Folie à Deux

A Story by Gracefulx620

This is a short story of a college-aged girl who experiences life from two different and unique perspectives. Please feel free to make comments or criticisms! I appreciate you reading my work!

I have an alter ego. She is different than me, the real me, and only comes out in certain situations. She is the part of me that wants to be seen, to be the life of the party. Maybe you have met her before, but probably not. If you did, you certainly wouldn’t forget her. Her name is Lola.

Lola first appeared one night about 8 months ago, after too many tequila shots one crazy night at a club. My friends were there, and said I acted drunk most of the night. But it didn’t feel like my usual “drunk” self, it felt different; she felt different. I was completely lucid, but it was like I watched myself from afar, not entirely one with my body. It was quite the feeling, one that started a rollercoaster of unbelievable experiences, some of which I wish I could forget. Ever since then, I have felt Lola with me everywhere I go. I can feel her wanting to seep through, to be exposed, especially in more sexually-charged situations. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I am just your typical 22-year-old graduate student, studying psychology at a private liberal arts University. I spend my weekdays in classes all day, then I do homework at night, and in between I work a lousy minimum-wage job, like most students do. On weekends, I spend time with my boyfriend when he visits. My relationship usually goes well for most of the time, it’s great, until it isn’t. I tend to get bored easily, and that’s the most dangerous time if you ask me. When I feel like I’m getting bored, I make up games, to keep myself entertained. I’ll act a certain way or dress differently, just to make things exciting. It is fun, you should try it! Although, sometimes it gets out of hand and I become a totally different person�"Enter: Lola.

My mind should be focused on graduating with my Master’s Degree and overcoming mountains of loans and debt, right? Wrong. I am currently concentrating on reigning Lola in and stopping her from taking over my life. Why, you ask? She has been becoming more out of control lately, and it’s partially my fault. I let Lola loose and now she doesn’t want to be contained. Want to know what I’ve been up to these last few months? Alternating personalities where by day I am a studious academic person, and at night I could make even a stripper blush with my wild antics. You never know what you’ll get with me, but when we are out partying at night, you can be sure Lola will be there, being the center of attention. She gets upset if everyone isn’t looking at her. She longs for the guys to want her, and for the girls to want to be her. The lingering stares, the smiles from strangers, and the sparkle people get in their eye when she talks to them. Lola can make anyone feel special, and that is her goal. Well that, and casual sex.

Lola first originated when I needed an anonymous name for some crazy thing I decided to do in college. My roommate Sarah* and I thought it would be fun to join a local online chat forum and initiate sexy conversations with strangers. We pretended it was a job, and that we provided a service to the lonely men out there. Although it was all fake, a notion we created, we ran this so-called “business” for about 6 months and met tons of guys online. Some were friendly, others were freaky, but we just took it for what it was: an anonymous platform to express our creativity. I was ‘Lola’, the luscious sex-expert who would try anything, and Sarah played ‘Amber’, a BDSM lover who alternated between being a dominatrix and playing submissive roles. We played with every type of man you could think of: single, married, bisexual, exhibitionist, and any race was game. And a game it became.

(*Names have been changed to protect the naughty.)

Every night was spent making up stories to these random strangers, and it became a lifestyle. Sarah and I would work together to create the most erotic and evocative fantasies. The men appreciated it and kept coming back for more. We felt like famous rock stars. Or maybe notorious porn stars is more accurate. Sarah and I never did anything illegal, and we never crossed the line, although we’ve come close. “Just trying to be more adventurous versions of boring selves,” we used to tell ourselves, probably attempting to rationalize our insane behavior. And that is how Lola came to be. After a few intense months of pretending to be a star, I started to realize that some specific “phrases” that Lola would tell these men, started coming up in my regular vocabulary. It was like my delusional character of Lola became part of my everyday existence. For a moment, I wondered if I wasn’t the one in control anymore, but the thought disappeared as quickly as it came.

Now, my regular self has always been charming by nature. I am a people-person, and love being surrounded by others. People say I am funny, agreeable, and charismatic. I wouldn’t describe myself as boring, but perhaps I would say safe. I always knew the right thing to do, and always thought about the consequences of my actions. I never lived on the edge, nor was I spontaneous. Until Lola came out. She was fearless; she just says what’s on her mind whether you liked it or not, and it was empowering. My humor and warm presence couldn’t hold a candle to the strength and sex appeal Lola possesses. In times when I needed to be brave and step out of my comfort zone, I relied on Lola to get me through, she was always the life of the party. I began to use my online alter-ego to survive certain real-life situations, like socializing at college parties. I soon regretted it when she began invading parts of my life I wish she hadn’t.

Nights at the bar where my friends call me “drunk,” I swear I turned into a different person, like Lola full-fledged took over. All of a sudden I wasn’t acting anymore, she wasn’t a character that I created, she was me, and she was unstoppable. Lola not only shamelessly flirts with men at the bar, but has full-on make-out sessions with multiple men, knowing she had a boyfriend back home. I recall a few times where she even seduced them and brought them to her hotel room for the night. Lola didn’t care; she learned she could wreak havoc wherever she goes, and I am left picking up the damaged pieces. Lola thrives on loud dance music, wild bar nights, and vulnerable men, and uses them to her advantage. She wants a night to remember, and then I’m left the next morning wondering what the hell did I do.