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You smile, you laugh. Your eyes twinkle with joy. You say your life is perfect, and that nothing can go wrong. No one's ever seen you cry, nor do you often. Your a good student at school, you have many friends. Your smile so true, not a doubt in anyone's head that something may be wrong.

But what no one knows, and you often hide from yourself, is that your slowly breaking down. You try and try but often times you can't hold it in any longer.. You silently cry in the dead of night, falling asleep with tears falling down your cheeks. Your life isn't at perfect as it seems, your parents fight a lot, your not the most liked in town, school is a hassle, your contently fighting depression, and have to hide it from everyone..

Your smile isn't fake, it's just not completely heart felt. Your smile isn't always there, yet you try to put it on as much as you can.

 Your afraid of failing school, amounting to nothing. You have to live up to such high expectations from everyone, your cousins a dentist. You have to be as successful as her, have a Dr. before your name like her..

Your parents fight, you get scared they'll get divorced.. Your mother always talks about you two getting up and leaving. Your afraid one day, she just might do that without you.. Your Dad comes home drunk sometimes, then your parents start to fight. Even when he's sober, the arguments don't seem to stop..

Your also afraid of being alone, yet you rather be alone at times.. This doesn't make sense, but to you it does. Your afraid of love, as much as you want to feel loved. Your afraid. You have simple fears, like kissing someone, and ending up not kissing to well. You've never really kissed anyone, like really kissed someone.. So once you finally do, your afraid of messing up.. You want to make the person your with happy, and try to be perfect, which often times irritates you. Because no one wants to be someone there not.. Which is why you rather just stay by yourself..

Your friends are amazing, out of this world. Yet, you feel they don't understand you.. That you need someone you can connect to. You must just be weird, just a little to different to find someone like you..

You wonder, if anyone's like you. If you'll ever find someone to connect to..
Yet your to scared to find out the answer, so you keep quite and hide your feelings. Sometimes even wonder, what's better, life, or death?

Never thought the most happiest of all your friends would be the one to have such a thought did you?