The Art of Killing

1, 2, 3, 4...

1, 2, 3, 4...

1, 2, 3, 4...

Those  were the numbers he kept counting as he walked down the stairs to a secret room. It's dark and empty place but as you walk along, a bright red door full of roses waiting at the end. He entered, a slow melody piano music is playing. Inside the room it looks normal just like other empty room. However, there's a curtain hanging at the right side of the room. It's red, massive and looks like those massive curtain in the theatre.

"So, did you do what i taught you to do my little bird?" He asked very gently. "Yes my lord" with a gentle voice. 

"Brilliant! and now the curtain rises."

A melancholic music begun as he disassembling a fresh corpse which seems to be real dead body of a woman. "I will make you beautiful" he quoted as he smiled. He removed her legs and beautifully stitch every part of her that were opened with his precious tools. He hanged her and tied her hands together onto a string that was connected into her neck. For Flyn he wasn't satisfied yet. He removed her right eye and replaced it with a red rose cover with her blood. Psychopathic as it sound but for him the ecstasy of killing is indulging throughout his body every moment of his show. At last just as the music about to end he put the remaining blood on her left eye to make it look like tears. And there is what he called perfection.

"Magnificent" he whispered. The last peace of the year for Flyn has finally finished for him. "What do you think of the final peace of the year my little bird ?" he asked. 

"Splendid as always my lord" said by the little girl.

"Four people kept missing every month, not single trace was found" said by an officer hopelessly.

 "There is no such crime that can't be solve" said by a detective. 

"How would you start solving something like this, the culprit is almost invisible. He's no ordinary man, he leave no trail behind" he asked.

 "Think about it Mr Jones four people kept missing every month at certain places. and we know these started three years ago" he questioned him thoroughly. Mr Jones wasn't really sure what he's trying to say  and so he asked him.

 "So what are you trying to say?"

 "The murderer is obsessed with number four."

"This year will be poetry" Flyn said to himself. 

A new year has started for him which means a new compulsory for his art. He's now preparing for his first victim of the year. He begun cleaning his tools for the first show of the year. He wiped it down four times. However he isn't pleased yet and wiped it again four times. Though it's already clean, he couldn't stop until he was sure it was clean. He couldn't be sure it was clean until he wiped it down once again for the fourth time.

"Wonderful" he whispered.

"The stage is set my Lord" said by the little girl name Lora.

"Well then, lets start the show".

Author's Note

Hi guys,

I'm currently trying to learn English. Somehow i found it really effective to learn English from reading and writing my own stories. So I really expect all your reviews but not just about the story but also please give me a feedback about my grammar. This is the whole point of me writing stories after all.

Thanks a lot !

Reviews

[Cy!]

Grammar wise:

"Splendid my lord." Period goes inside quotes
Also when doing speech between characters try spacing out their speech to add some differences.

Ex: "Well then," the King says. "Let us start the show."

Besides this the story does seem interesting. Hope this helps. ^^

[OnlyNeedSecond]

thank you! it really helped c:

[Der Narr]

I commend you on your method of learning English through fiction. There is no better way of learning a language than by immersing your imagination in it.

Granted you have a lot of grammar mistakes, but I really liked your ideas and images. I think it's impressive that you conjure such memorable portraits even though you struggle with the actual language.

Learning new things like languages can be frustrating but keep going at it. Once you hit your stride and know English better you will be capable of some stellar content, I'm sure of it.

If you want to go over the grammar mistakes in more detail perhaps we could discuss it over e-mail or something. Otherwise you can check out other people's stories; I got some of my own that I'm starting to upload here. Maybe that will help.

Anywho, cheerio, don't give up.
Ideas and concepts: 8/10
Grammar: 3/10

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

I like the way you put it together... wow it is very great too..