Sunday Service: Introductory Rites

PRIEST: In the name of a single, restricted component of sacred masculine, and of one biased translation of it.

ALL: Amen.

PRIEST: Our ownership of your imagination and imposed limits of your potential be upon you.

ALL: And also with you.

PRIEST: Small Human-crafted God-Idol, my mortal authority blesses this water, bastardizing the rites of more ancient and relevant religions and stealing from their infinitely deeper well of worth. Help us ignore the parts of us that are natural and save us from future connections to nature and also blind us to the power to save ourselves through nature.

Artificial God-figure, give me living water, always available as a fountain of dominance, to distribute to the weak-willed: empower me, body and soul, with every threatening danger, and admit me to your totality of influence.

Grant this through the example of one human among countless hordes who, long ago, feigned greatness until the illusion became reality.

ALL: Amen.

[Sprinkling of water]

PRIEST: As we prepare to celebrate the mystery of how a poor humble man could become the wealthiest most powerful corporation in civilized history, let us acknowledge your individual failures and ask your ignorant and uneducated leaders for pardon and mercy.

You continue to metaphorically raise one dead corpse and shove it into new churches. Political powers, have mercy.

ALL: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: Our elite-appointed judges bring peace to those convicted by our money-bought juries through incarceration and murder. Banks and multimedia conglomerates, have mercy.

ALL: Christ, have mercy.

PRIEST: We bring darkness to those in light. Armed forces and private military organizations whom we fund, have mercy.

ALL: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: May the corrupt leaders of the Western nations have mercy on you, forgive you for thinking there are other paths to spiritual enlightenment and satisfaction, and continue bringing this mind control cult to everlasting life by means of historical victories.

ALL: Amen.

[Kyrie]

ALL: Glory to Dominance in the highest,

and peace to our people as slaves.

Lordly Leaders, heavenly kings, sacred masculine in its ugliest and basest form,

we worship you, we give you money, we praise you for your simplicity.

Myth of a common man from history, son of another common man,

Immature and mortal and ordinary,

you take away the knowledge of the world: have power over us;

you are seated at the right hand of our minds: receive our compliance.

For the church alone is the Powerful One, it alone is the Lord,

It alone is the Most High, finances and all,

with the unknown-turned-ritual, in the glory of Western Leaders. Amen.

PRIEST: Let us pray.

ALL: Amen.