For that I sit on the shore

For that I sit on the shore

A Poem by OR
"

Written on the shore right next to my college...

"
For blues is what I choose
For I play but always lose
For I never fight but I end up with a bruise

For I welcome a new day
For I have always something to say
For I hope and I pray

For I need a place to cry
For I never lie
For I'll eventually die

For deception is our age
For "civilization" is our cage
For we have anger but with no rage

For rocks break the waves in two
For skies makes the clouds blue
For I have no solution and have no clue

For that, and more
I'll be the one sitting on the shore
For that and more
When the doors are closed, open you'll find my door

--------------------------------------------
********************************************
Note for reviewers : I've reversed some of the images in this poem like;
"For skies makes the clouds blue" While clouds are making skies white
.... I just wanted to make the poem feels as much disturbed as possible because that's how I was disturbed...

© 2011 OR


Author's Note

OR
Now I think I maybe not that bad... Thanks every one for the real encouraging reviews...

Thank you "Truman S. Booth" for the grammatical check

@Intern'l Shultzfeather : I guess this poem is about how disturbed life could be and how people just don't accept true so truthful will end up a lone and away from all the others... The shore, in my case.

Thank you everyone, really ...

Peace

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Featured Review

Okay, honestly speaking, I did not find the level of this poem to be extremely good, but the little messages in it were lovely!

I especially liked,

"For deception is our age
For "civilization" is our cage"
"For we have anger but with no rage"

really brilliant lines there amigo. keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think this poem gets better as it goes along. It starts off with the rhyme scheme feeling a little strained, in my opinion. I think the first two verses have the feel of trying a bit too hard, don't let the rhyme dominate the feeling of the poem. However, by the final three verses, this has loosened and developed into something really good. "For deception is our age, for "civilization" is our cage, for we have anger but with no rage" is a REALLY good use of this rhyme scheme. I do get the sense of disturbance and confusion, it's well expressed, but I think a more erratic rhyme scheme would enhance this. On the other hand, the current rhythm and rhyme has quite a "nursery rhyme" feel to it, which actually enhances the slightly sinister and disturbing aspect of the poem. This poem has an almost prophetic quality.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Okay, honestly speaking, I did not find the level of this poem to be extremely good, but the little messages in it were lovely!

I especially liked,

"For deception is our age
For "civilization" is our cage"
"For we have anger but with no rage"

really brilliant lines there amigo. keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is very nice. I think we all have a place that we sit for the reasons you mention. Mine was a rocky ledge on the mountain.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You journey us across such marvelous thoughts... the fight one must make to overcome each day.. the hope that can be embraced in each sunrise... Floods of emotion fill your words.. from the anger of civilizations' onslaught to the pain that can wash over us, and the last lines sing of possibility.. Profoundly stunning...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very touching as we can truly feel the lost feeling out there.
Nice choice of images on their own, and the mix of it really translates the confusion vividly. I loved it, and I can relate very much.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

For you don't always have to know the answers

Because sometimes there are no answers...do not worry.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

more to writing poetry than rhyming my friend Meter is the essential ingredient.
When you are young you either know everything or think you know nothing.Neither of which is true. Life teaches you as you progress towards maturity what is important and what is not

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Even when poetry is difficult for me to understand, I like this one. I liked the sense of desperation and hope. Thanks for sharing your gift!
Blessings.
-AlexV


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You seem so sad, confused and unhappy, know, that as time passes, things will get better. The best thing about getting older is that life gets bigger and you meet more people and find people who understand you and don't want to change you. Keep on writing, it is a great release, best therapy in the world.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

perfectly composed for your intended effect~ engages the reader's consciousness immediately~ a thoughtful write ~

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 26, 2010
Last Updated on September 10, 2011

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OR
OR

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