Too small for the gods

A journal entry musing on my relationship to fantasy and the divine. Not my best work.

Today I read a book by my favorite author - and I am frightened. He has told us that the almighty is dead and that the spren, the spirits of the world are shaped by man’s beliefs. I am frightened that he will turn out like all the others. That he will fall into the cliché I see around me. I fear that his gods are mankind’s creations.

Fantasy has always shaped my religious beliefs. The first time I remember it was when I created a word with a complex plethora of gods - some drawn from stories - most from Astrix , my knowledge of Celtic mythology at the time. 

In time I began to worship them. Theology arose around them, and then later explanations for how gods I had created might be real. I came up with an idea I thought original.  We create our gods.

Time passed and eventually as beliefs will mine broke. Atop Umatilla rock, 200 foot cliffs dropping on either side - the desert spanning as far as I could see - everything I had built suddenly felt too tight. I decided to lay everything I thought I knew aside and simply listen, wait watch and observe. Not bind myself to any doctrine. In time new beliefs replaced the old - but still the sense of open possibility has remained.

The world has not done the same. What I thought an original idea I now see everywhere. Every new book I read and game I play. Movie I watch and TV show I stream. We create the gods they proclaim in mighty revelation and I cannot help but wince. It feels childish, like a truth that I have outgrown. Worse I fear it a cliché.

Fantasy has always shaped my religious beliefs, whether adopting those my favorite books hold true, or fighting against those I cannot accept. By imagining a thousand worlds with a thousand and one different gods it allows me to see patterns - some that ring true, others dull and false. The truth will always be larger, yet I can explore - I can always explore.

Yet what if fantasy rings with one truth? It is a thing all fantasy writers must avoid - each conception of the gods must grow. And where can we grow with created gods? We could learn that to be created is not to be less than that which has always been. That’s the direction I went before even that felt too tight. 

Let the gods not be our creations. Let them be varied and multiple in their origins. Not gods as we imagined the gods of old but alien races from the stars, monsters born of raging suns, trans-univeral AIs created and transcending the ancient races that created them. Let gods be the ancient ones glimpsed only rarely by mankind, and given myriad names, none of them their true, let gods be what arises when too much energy happens in one place, spontaneous and elemental. Let them be creators and destroyers to whom humans are nothing but microbes and the universe their sandbox. 

Let gods be things that have not been written before - so strange they will never be written again, or so glorious they will be copied by generations of fanfiction - but do not let gods be small pitiful creations of mankind’s minds - inevitably confused by all the different stories - inevitably thinking themselves creators but only because their creators think them so. 

It is time to find a new truth for the gods. This one was larger than the last, but too small to hold them now. I’m afraid we may be stuck here forever, but I also have hope. Hope in the endless imagination of our writer’s, exploring - not creating - the divine. 

Reviews

[carl]

much of what you say (if I am understanding you correctly) reminds me of information I came across when reading The Inklings (primarily about Tolkien and Lewis) and a biography on each author also. Also read On Fairy-Story, an essay by Tolkien. Both Tolkien and Lewis had a very deep appreciation for mythology and saw a very strong evidence of the divine reflected in nature. Both men were is great degree guided by their love for myth and nature to a belief in God (Christian faith). But I don't think either could be accused of fashioning god for themselves from what they saw or felt.

Early man saw magnificent beast, that generated great fear within him. He experienced events such as the repetitive rising and passing of the sun and mood, eclipse of both, volcanoes, earthquakes, etc. and because he could not understand the cause he fashioned gods to explain them. (at least that is how I see it).

My question would be... What if we have the process backwards. Quick example. The maize god and his resurrection. Often this is given as the origin story which is then translated into the Christian belief of Christ Resurrection. But suppose that Christ and His resurrection was a settled but not yet revealed fact prior to history itself. ( pre-creation if you will) Then, that becomes the reason for the appearance of the maize god. I think this is the sort of thing that Tolkien and Lewis saw in early myth and nature. They saw evidence of the presence of God in these things. They did not witness these things and say, "Oh, let's create a god dialog to explain these things. - I hope some of what I have tried to say is understandable and it's perfectly fine if it's not something to which you can agree. I just felt what you said was extremely interesting and wanted to try to process it. If I have misunderstood you in any way I apologize. Thank you for your post -carl

[Silvanus Silvertung]

This one was awfully thinky