Lest There Be No Effect

Lest There Be No Effect

A Poem by Pandrogynite

A stream-of-consciousness verbal lyric now written down- entirely nonsensical and without any true flow or form, but amusing for the content and verbal diarrhea.


So it's been made apparent to me that I can't actually sing.

That's just unfortunate.

No worries, though.

Oh my god.




...the seventeen souls I found on that ship?

So we're getting a little funky now.

Hope you guys don't mind, I don't.

Time for some goggles? Yes.

Like an eight track eight tape drive synesthetic Abercombie and Fitch shoes I wear every time I put up a shed.

I just said that, don't worry about it though.

I'll tell you what you do need to worry about: how funky this song is.

It.... quite frankly is the most terrifying thing I know.

And I know. Because I made it!

While riding on the back of a dinosaur coated entirely in chocolate syrup, with eyes like gleaming diamonds and a voice like broken glass.

We'd play put-put deep into the night, as mermaids frolicked on the backs of angels.

I tried some ipecac once.

Chased it with some absinthe and tripped balls and threw up all over the floor.

But I thought the vomit was in fact an ice skating rink.

You best believe my mother came home and she found me face down in my own puke, laughing while making a snow angel.

That's about par the course for Christmas at my house.

Not that I pretend that we're normal or anything.

I mean for chrissakes we've got a dog named Nugget.

He's got no legs, no eyes, and he may or may not actually be a brick.

It's good on a leash, though.

Know what else is good on a leash?

...I was about to say your mother, but that's just disrespectful.

This base line's not, though.

You can feel it right?

Feel it in your bones

It jiggles your thighs up and down,

Like a werewolf made entirely of spaghetti-

Coming at you, covered in sauces.

And you can't help but think to yourself “goddamnit if I knew an Italian right now I wouldn't be in trouble.”

But I don't.”

Because in a postmodern industrialization there's not many Italians left on the planet as a global whole,

So the odds of you knowing one really are slim, let alone one that can eat an entire werewolf.

Well that's all.

© 2012 Pandrogynite

Author's Note

Keep in mind the concept of this was to be verbal diarrhea and nonsensical. At that point, if you still have them, all critiques are awesome!

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Added on October 30, 2012
Last Updated on October 30, 2012
Tags: stream-of-consciousness, stream of consciousness, lyric, song, verbal diarrhea, nonsense, nonsensical, crazy, madness, werewolves, beat, funky



Raleigh, NC

I am not so much a writer as an a*****e with a word processor. But I get along how I can. more..