No Hope in Wishing Stars (working title, open to suggestions)

Ruminations on lost love...written a while back, just getting around to posting for review. Will reciprocate.

Your tears, my shoulder,

wet with the belief

that we would share forever bliss...

seeming now to be only grief.

I held you long, and sang you low,

perhaps you'll find the means to smile...

but forever gone, as forever goes,

leaves me waiting all the while.

Your hands, my fingers, 

clenched, still holding on

to a girl I pushed away and then

yearned for her when gone.

And life has seen peculiar times,

but none so strange as these...

when I curse the name of God,

doubt, and complacency.

Your eyes,

my weary heart longs to see them now,

to burn them in as sunlight does

and no longer go without.

A memory filled with happy times

in place of my regret,

but there's no hope in wishing stars,

or I've not seen it yet.

And life has seen peculiar times,

but none so strange as these,

when I curse the name of God, 

doubt, and complacency.

Author's Note

Definitely open to suggestions re: the name, rhythm, etc.

Reviews

i can feel pain in this, such an emotional write. All in all pretty good flow.

[JamesK]

I loved it. The emotions, the pain, it was beautiful. I like the repeating stanza, as well as a very nice rhyme scheme. it was both moving and strong. the structure was well organized, and it was overall just very good. Keep up the good writing!