Follow the Path

Follow the path of age and time, it will address;
Blissful ignorance, sentiment youth once possessed.

Follow leaders of power for we can't discern,
Greed--arrogance, authority often do churn.

Follow large masses, amongst the crowded we'll stand;
Misguided off course, stripping away our own stance.

Follow the logic of wisdom and then we'll see,
That not everything is what it appears to be.

Follow the unfortunate and terminal lives,
Ask what they desire? Nothing, just to survive.

Follow your heart when you are lost or a flounder;
Know you have choices, support from those around you.

Face these reflections, for mirrors only foresee;
The one looking back is who you are meant to be.

Reviews

[DCT ponderings]

I enjoyed this immensely. So many people look out side themselves as they move along there path missing that thee lessons/people are simply reflections. They mimic and lemming but never know self. So your ending was a knock out for me.

Face these reflections, for mirrors only foresee;
The one looking back is who you are meant to be.

In the second to last stanza I wanted more of an inward build leading towards the ending. But perhaps due to my own personal understanding that the strength you muster when you follow your heart isn't always supported. That it is knowing yourself intimately that will guide you through when lost and floundering (even alone). But like I said this is simply a personal filter. :)

[sonceotrok]

u r fine u know

[SteveB]

Thank you very much for sharing this. A lovely piece. One question however, the 6th stanza breaks away from the rhythmic couplet form that you have throughout the rest of the work. Was this intentional? To me it was slightly jarring and the one bad note in an otherwise lovely melody.

[Parsimony]

Thanks for your attentiveness. It's should be symmetrical, 12 syllables per line. I may have to tweak it some more.

[SteveB]

I look forward to reading the tweaking. And more of your work.

[Parsimony]

Thanks, I'll look forward to your reviews.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You've done a lot in 14 lines... the message is clear... intent keeps you reading the verse... and the end seals this... Thanks for sharing...

[Parsimony]

Thank you for the constructive observation.

[Sami Khalil]

I like the pic and the poem with its good message...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Parsimony]

Thank you for reading. I'll be going back to your poems. They are quite intricate. I need more time to mull over their meanings.

[Sami Khalil]

OK. You are welcome...:)

[Another Poet]

I like it very much and the picture is beautiful!

[Parsimony]

Thank you.

[Another Poet]

Your welcome!