Holding Patterns

Written about the inspirational Dr Jennifer Bute who I had the pleasure of having a lecture from today. http://gloriousopportunity.org/

Holding Patterns

“Don’t you remember me?

We had tea together last week Jen”

“No dear you have it wrong,

we have never met,

I don’t know you.”

Damn these hallucinations,

wild birds in my eyes,

the smell of burning toast

fills my nostrils,

but I will defeat them with logic.

I will grasp the patterns in life’s

painting and hold fast to their mannerisms.

But my family just cannot cope

with me today

for I am looking for my babies.

“What do you mean they are all grown up,

left home? Don’t be so silly”

“Don’t you mean they are being cared for?”

That was a bad day.

Today is a good day.

I remember who I am,

I recall having tea with Helen,

I remember that amyloid plaques

cause Alzheimer’s,

after all I was a GP.

So I am not lost

I know where I am going,

some of the time;

you know…

you can’t have rainbows without rain.

 

16/05/13

Reviews

[Mark]

Nice write John, I have to confess, I fear living long enoughto succumb to some form of dementia.

My Father developed slowly and eventually died rather quickly with Lewy Body Dementia. it seems the medications he was given to calm him, (he would become violent and even stalked a few of the nurses he found attractive) worsened his condition. I helped put him into a care home in May, and the following November we buried him. I'm glad Dr. Jen can find the rainbow... my father couldn't, and I think dementia robbed him of one of his greatest gifts; his intelligence.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I am sorry you experienced this Mark. And it is a disease that is like a robber in that is steals the key part of people.

[Neville]

I rather liked this John. A great title & from a purely personal point of view think it is one of your best yet. Original content & a captivating read. N

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Neville. Mostly quotes from Dr Bute.

[s y e]

Woah! You've written this horrid disease so well, but unfortunately for those who have the disease, not so much. Gave me the heeby jeebies.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Sye hope you are ok in your nuclear bunker!

[s y e]

My pleasure.

Haha, all fine thanks.

[Rhianne Ney]

you know…

you can’t have rainbows without rain.
Great line, dude, love this~!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Rhianne

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Just got the following email from Jennifer Bute:

Dear John

Brilliant what a hoot!

I had not laughed so much for ages

Jennifer

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this a lot, a good subject that is talked about a lot. I wanted to write more, but I
can`t find my glasses...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha, Ha and I forgot the next line! Thanks Leslie.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I fear this will be my life some day in the future. I already have memory issues that seem to only get worse. It is a sad moment when you realize your memory is fading. I so enjoyed this, John. So well written to express what Alzheimer looks and feels like. That grasping for whatever straws one can hold on to in order to remember something, anything.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Lori, please go to the website it is inspirational in the way Jennifer Bute approaches her disease.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I sure will John.. thanks.

[Kristin Lee]

You can't have rainbows without rain...how very true that is and how often we forget. I found this poem to be very touching, and as you promised, very inspirational. In the face of madness we often grasp for understanding in the roots of the past, be it our children, our pets, writing. All it takes is one spark to turn the day around. Thank you for this lovely piece.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Dr Bute is to be the one thanked. look at her web page and let others know about her if you like it. She is amazing. I am not one who worships false Gods! Thank you for a lovely review Kirsten.

[M.E.Lyle]

"Rainbows without rain." what a great line. My mother suffers from Alzheimer's and it gets worse. She's in a local nursing home now. It's painful to watch this once energetic woman deteriorate into the shell of what she once was. What's frightening is, I am so much like my mother. I see myself in her not too many years down the road. I wonder, who will be there for me. A selfish thought, but one can't keep from wondering.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many of the words I have used are those of Dr Jennifer Bute who suffers from Alzheimer's. she has a refreshing approach to it check out her web site at the top of my poem and pass it on to as many people as possible affected. Many thanks for your comments.

[Frieda P]

You've written this horrid disease so well, there's music on this page, but unfortunately for those afflicted, not so much. This gave me goose bumps John, I know this person, it's a sad state to live there.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Freida, thanks. Check out the website as Jennifer Bute describes it as a privilege.

[Frieda P]

Good to see it in that light, there's a crude joke in my family, 'wish mom would get Alz, so she'd forget'...