Still Falling

Still Falling

The bridge to my torment

is built of scars.

Wounds inflicted deep

upon my heart

across decades of struggle

against the tyranny of Catholic guilt

and the bitter dark seed of Original sin.

But I have also been bludgeoned

by the deceitful destruction

of my soul by those I trusted.

So many times I gave myself

to causes lost in the black hole

of a woman’s psyche

and have paid the price

in splintered shattered painful

endings.

And yet I still stand tall,

reaching out for the contentment

of such thighs.

My scars are visible reminders

of the treachery that abounds

but they thicken

and make me impervious to such pain.

And so

I am still in the game.

 

21/08/14

Author's Note

Reviews

[Dee]

Seems you have suffered deep in the name of love, but not willing to give up on it..
Powerful, open, and heartfelt work John... I feel for you...Wonderful work as I find most is when I read through your pages...Bravo...Dee.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Dee. My mother, from Swansea, was a great poetess, I am the lesser and now my son is exquisite.

[Dee]

I did note your comment about your son James Mcfaden John, I intend to read his works along with your daughter Fergie's.....Your mother from Swansea and a great poetess, now I understand your gift.......Dee

[John Alexander McFadyen]

James McFadyen And enjoy he is a master.

[Leslie Philibert]

I read this as the tension caused by the Catholic moral position and sexuality as an internal dilema...
a good subject, well written

[John Alexander McFadyen]

More about the damage done to me in the name of Catholisism and the damage done by the women I have chosen. Many thanks Leslie for reading.

[Lydia Shutter]

You lay it all out on the table here. Hurt by those you love, but not willing to give up the wonders of romance...the comforts of companionship. No, not everyone will "do" you in that way....and it is always worth trying again. Once again, your words are so real....reading you is such a pleasure. Lydi**

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Just wish my words were not destined for empty space and fellow poets. Many, many thanks Lydi.

[Lydia Shutter]

It is a fate most of our words share, my friend....but yet we write because it is part of who we are.

[AprilRN1210]

honest, moving, and real.. I really enjoyed this one... love this movie, and such a sweet video and song.. showing such sweet vulnerability with this piece.. yet among all this pain and troubles, remain hopeful and ever seeking... such a hopeless romantic that is so refreshing to see.. totally different tone, and attitude from the last piece I read.. I like this side of you:)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you for such a deep analysis April

[Frieda P]

You packed a lot into this one John, Catholic guilt...check. Betrayal....check. A fool for love...check. You know this one hit me right upside the head....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you my Lady. So I have my revenge for all the times you have hit me right upside the head!

[MAC]

well at least you know you are being stupid and willing to suffer in advance lol

this is another strong write of pain and endurance

excellent

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Mark, must be the Catholic kickback in me lol!

[R Smith]

Much suffering here John, still you don't learn it seems and wish for the delights of a woman. Guess I can get that only to well.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yeah thanks Richard. That is us I am afraid!

[Lyn Anderson]

A portrayal of a man who has suffered much due to opening up to love, but still willing to keep at it.:)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A fool in other words me thinks!