I'll be Watching (Over) You

When two people need each other the bond is strong. With thanks again to Richard for his guidance and expert help!

I'll be Watching (Over) You

 

This tempest quell, that rages in my breast,

do not allow the freedom of that beast.

For I have guarded it with all my might

but I no longer have the strength to fight.

 

Reach deep inside and soothe this tortured soul,

lest it break free and I loose all control.

For that would be a dark and sorry fate,

come rescue me before it is too late.

 

And in return dear Maid I pledge to thee

a love that here on earth few seldom see.

My heart and adoration I shall give

each day and every moment that you live.

 

With Kisses tender, strong hands I do pledge,

my deep devotion for you needs no urge;

for I will worship every breath you take

protecting each and every step you make.

 

14/07/15

Author's Note

Reviews

[GreenShoes]

It's a very beautiful poem that any woman would love to be the inspiration for. It's the wedding song that is far more appropriate compared to The Police's Every Breath You Take.

Now for the technical stuff. This is an AABB rhyme scheme, but breast and beast, and pledge and urge are a stretch. Also, you said "loose" all control, did you mean "lose?" I avoid punctuation in poetry as much as possible, it's poetry, therefore it has lines, not sentences, and doesn't need to follow those rules.

You did very well, I can't wait to read more. :)))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Karen. Rhymes can be 'off rhymes and I considered these very long and hard for the very reason you said in one of your messages so that I was not forced into a corner. I will look again though and thanks for the typo.

[wordman]

what more could a woman ask for

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you WM.

[wordman]

my pleasure john

[....................]

Love this strong can only be tamed by that special someone... this is a strong pledge and it's neat how you wrap the poem in lines referencing the song (one of my all time favorite pieces)... well-done, John!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks FT just had a day away from free verse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the pledge is strong to be a team, when the love is stronger than the beast.

elegantly written piece...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Jacob