Go Limerick!

Inspired by the limericks of Alan W Graham, a poet of this parish!

I know a poet called Alan from Fife
who has such a wonderful life
he spends all his time
just penning good rhyme
or making hot love to MY wife!

I once knew a train spotting chicken

with locomotion she was well versed

she fell on to the track

and as she laid on her back

she wondered if she had been cursed!

 

There was a young man from Dunblane

who had a huge worm in his brain

it ate all his thoughts

and all he'd been taught

until it left him insane.

 

There was a young woman from Leicester

whom Tom would continually pester,

so she covered her skirts,

thus avoiding the spurts,

and cut off his nose with a zester!

 

There was a young woman from Leicester

who fell head over heals for a jester,

she took him to bed

and he stood on his head

so it turned out to be a disaster.

 

There was a young lady from Hull

whose sex life was incredibly dull,

so to spice up her luck

she had sex with a duck

who presented her with his bill (Quack!)

 

03/07/19

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love limericks & you injected the necessary weirdness into your squawking scribbles! My fave is "worm in brain" idea, which deserves a whole poem devoted to such a hare-brained idea! I see that you kept veering off into an amorous direction more & more as your limericks creaked into a clusterfuck toward the end. This makes me want to try sex with my limericks sometime soon! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Look forward to reading the results of your deliberations Margie. I guess limerricks were traditionally rude so two out of six ain't OTT lol! I guess sex is never far from base camp either if truth be known.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for the inspiration . . . I laughed when Chris immediately recognized who I was roasting in this morning's posting of limericks . . .

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Will take a look.

[C. M. Miller]

It is a good thing that I've watched "All Creatures Great and Small" many times, so I have some sense of place in this crazy mix of limerick puns. All good, and the duck ending put me flat out of my groaning misery! Good job!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Why thank you sir, was just a diversion to be blamed on Alan W Graham!

[C. M. Miller]

"Passing the buck!" Good on you!

[Chris Shaw]

A clutch of limericks and so well penned. Makes amusing reading John.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Chris. You know moi. Diversity is good.

[Chris Shaw]

Diversity is very good :)

[gram linski]

There was an old poet from Brixworth
his pen did give him a new birth
and bathed in placenta
he thought that he meanta
and mistook his length for his girth

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok that would be painful! Hey and less of the old ya tart! But a bard ye are bro.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

PS Brixworth is famous for three things:
1. Tis the home of Mercedes High Performance Engines (Formula 1)
2. It has the oldest Anglo Saxon Church in England (The present church dates from AD750-850)
3. Brixworth Pate (Try it!)
Oh 4. tis within walking distance of Pitsford Water and Pitsford Country Park.

[gram linski]

no. 4 sounds great
no. 3 sounds s**t
no. 2 can f**k off back to Anglo Saxon land and leave us pagans alone,
no. 1 means f**k all to me, sounds like it is destroying the planet

[Cherrie]

A parish, what a great way to see this place.
Love the combo very clever.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Cherrie. I guess we do worship here?

[Mrudula Rani]

A wonderful collection of limericks and shows your skill. Each limerick is a gem and deserves individual posting, John

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are too kind Mrudula. Thank you.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Such a wonderful story lines.
It's really good and I enjoyed myself reading it.

Good job.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Cheers, thanks Kay.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

My pleasure.