Loves Betrayal

It is hard to describe the pain of endings.

I am bleeding.

Raw, broken,

contused skin.

I am fractured

like a piece of

shattered bone.

Blue bruises run

deep within my

muscle fibres

as my lifeblood

ebbs and flows

within the final rattle

of redundant lungs.

And my heart,

my heart simply

dies.

 

27/10/20

Author's Note

Reviews

[Valentine Okolo]

"I am bleeding. /Raw, broken, /contused skin." You opening lines arrested my attention. I like your use of assonance.
And your rhythm and your choice and flow of words is simply superb. I believe that a poem should be felt more than understood. Like rainfall tapping against your window pane. Or the wind caressing your forehead. You don't have to reason the meaning of these things. You simply relish their existence. And that is how your poem felt to me. It felt like the rain speaking to my window pane. And the wind touching my face. It is beauty that doesn't need to be explained. But felt.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are so generous in your comments and I am humbled and grateful. many thank yous!

[Valentine Okolo]

Your art, John, is deserving of every word which I used to describe it. You have the gift of words. I do not say this to flatter you. I say this because this is what I felt in your lines. And I can tell after a couple of lines who is a gifted writer and who is not. And the gift is certainly with you.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much but I am not a cultured poet as I am not a follower of form in its pure sense. Reading your two posted poems is like a school kid reading the work of the learned professor.

[Valentine Okolo]

Form and culture you can give to yourself. You already have the most important thing, talent. Now, all you have to do is to elevate it to the levels of genius. I also have the gift of words granted to me by God Almighty. And I have taken years to polish and home my art. And I still do. Almost every day. I live and breathe words. By words God Almighty brought forth light from the darkness. And life upon the entire earth. And by words even the dead was raised by the son (Yeshua / Jesus) of the living God. To me, words are the beginning and the end. The very essence of life.

You don't have to follow a particular form. Follow that which comes naturally to you. Harness and perfect that which you have. That way, your uniqueness will shine forth like daylight.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You have such amazing strength Sir and I am grateful for your encouragement and advice.

[Valentine Okolo]

You are most welcome, John.

[Cherrie]

this is a powerful piece . John, you always do such an excellent job reflecting emotions. There is nothing more hurtful than love betrayed.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

And don't I know it to my cost lol! Many thanks Cherrie, I should sleep more on trains!

[Cherrie]

I agree, very therapeutic

[duff]

The skirmishes of love and the sacrifices made. Bliss and plenty of pain. The imagery cuts through the bs.
Nice work. I like it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Just so duff; those skirmishes, hot and cold and oft stone dead lol! Many thank yous!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

endings can be new beginnings, but at the time we find that hard to see.
and the hurt of love is better than feeling no love at all...

just thoughts.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh indeed so Jacob, until the next inspiration lol.
Many thank yous!