Kissable Lips

I now know why I have not been kissed properly as of late. I was in what I call a 'dry spell', no one seemed to want me or my lips. Then one night... I was watching television, a marvelous invention that has such valuable information on anything as you know and so reliable. I mean, one has no qualms about trusting any of the newscasts or infomercials. Anyway,  I saw a commercial... well, actually I saw many commercials- the one I am speaking of or going to speak of is the one that clued me in on my dilemma. I have not been taking proper care of my lips! No, I haven't. Washing them and using lip balm is not all there is to it. I must , I repeat, must exfoliate! I also need the lip balm but not the one I was using. It is a cheap brand... not nearly good enough for softening. I also need a special lip gloss, preferably flavored but definitely one that plumps those lips to the fullest.
Too I need a lip-liner and a lipstick. I have around forty lipsticks but they are not this season's color at all! I mean, I am way out of date.

I purchased the lip exfoliate, a new lip balm, liner, plumping lip gloss (I was able to find a flavored one- cherry-cola)  and the perfect lip-shade, a vivacious red. Before I went out the following night, a girl's night out, directly after my shower I began to work on my lips. I applied the exfoliate, rubbing briskly for ten minutes (the package read five but I figured an extra five would pack a punchier punch) . When finished my lips were bright red and flaming, as in on fire! Hot Lips! Hot damn! This is going to work I thought. I peered closer into the mirror and gently applied the lip balm that curiously seemed no different than the one I had been using but with a higher price it had to be better. It didn't seem to soothe the burning sensation much at all. Give it time I thought. After carefully applying my eye make -up and blush I began the final steps on my lips. Carefully I used the liner in Crimson Stain to  outline my lips. After three tries I had a decent line drawn around my lips. Next I twirled my lip-brush on my new in season shade of lip-color and began applying it between the lines I had drawn almost an hour earlier. I popped my lips together to blend and got out cherry-cola plumping lip-gloss and brushed it over my lips. "Ouch"! Was there a bee in the room with me? My lips felt as if a bee had stung them. Burning, itching, tingling to the max. After an hour or two ( who is counting by this time) (I had been at my lips for at the least three hours) the burning sensation stopped and it just felt as if my lips would glue themselves shut when I closed them. They did look juicy! It was worth it all! The time and money and pain, oh yes, tonight I would be kissed.

The girls arrived about half-hour later and we set off to our favorite club ironically called "Lipstick". We were in perfect form and so confident. A blond, a brunette and a red-head all wearing designer clothes, perfume and make-up.
To make a long story short, as we all know the club scene.. After a couple of drinks and dances with a nice dark haired sharp dressed gentleman I could tell he was grooving on me as much as I was grooving on him. With a pause in the music he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I would very much like to kiss you, would you mind"? IT had worked! My lips were kickin'! I told him I would love a kiss from him and so ... he said to me, "Would you mind much removing your lipstick, I mean no offense but it looks a bit sticky". "Say what", my mind screamed at me. I sat there stunned... and he leaned over and said, "Nevermind, I will take my chances I wouldn't mind much if our lips did become glued together". And he kissed me.. properly. So properly he is still kissing me a year later. He says I have the juciest lips he ever tasted. Just like cherry-cola ..c-o-l-a , cola!

Author's Note

just some nonsense about how some spend so much time, money energy to try to look good not to mention pain.. also how t.v. , ads, ect. entice us all to try it, try it..
And of course i had to say c-o-l-a after cherry-cola cause i thought of the song Lola..
Satirical nonsense.. peace

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I guess the effort was worth it, although I feared the outcome wouldn't be what it was. I don't think I ever kissed a girl with those shiny, sticky-looking lips, but always thought it would be messy. Sort of like kissing melted ice cream. I like your sense of humour.

[SpokenWord]

The add to the side of your poem, is for Avon, moisture seduction lipstick for $4.99 that made me chuckle as I read this. 3 hours on the lips? Wow no wonder my dates are always late! I am lucky being a guy, we can dye our hair in 5 minutes getting the gray out, we only have to wash our hair, no makeup, no special hard to get in or out clothing. It is the life of Riley :) Great story and I see that proper kiss lasted forever.

[Montana Tom]

From the bottom of this page I have read your lines, sad, true, hilarious. I will read on, but the Lipstick one crack my face. Nice work.

[MiaIntheSkywithDiamonds]

Lola is a wonderful song and this was an excellent story :)
Glad you found a good guy :)

[Jibey]

You conveyed the irony with nicely timed nudges and hints and I was smiling for much of the read... though not being entirely convinced by the apparently fairy-tale ending... Perhaps that was a subtle wink too... Lovely!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I don't believe it was the lipstick that attracted him to you, just coincidence... just be yourself and someone will always appreciate all you have to offer. Sounds like he had a coke and you had a smile.