Can You Feel Me?

 

Can you feel me?

Can you feel the heat as my hand moves across your chest?

My legs as they intertwine with yours?

 

Can you smell me?

Can you smell the lingering fragrance of gardenias on my skin?

The slightly feminine scent, mixed with something more earthy?

 

Can you taste me?

Can you taste the fruited balm as my lips turn up to meet yours?

Reminding you of summer days and sweet cherry koolaid?

 

Can you hear me?

Can you hear my voice speaking softly in your ear?

Whispering words of love and longing?

 

Can you see me?

Can you see my loosed blonde hair falling all over your shoulder?

Do you see the hunger in my eyes, blue as the sea?

 

I can see you.

I can see your dark, penetrating eyes looking deeply into me.

Mirroring the hunger in my own.

 

I can hear you.

I can hear the sound of your heart beating, solid and steady.

Picking up the pace as I run my fingers through your nearly black hair.

 

I can taste you.

I can taste the saltiness of your skin after a long day of work,

As I move my tongue down the length of your body.

 

I can smell you.

I can smell the musky scent of your maleness.

As I breathe deeply, wanting to revive every sensation with your essence.

 

I can feel you.

I can feel the electricity that is always there between us.

Increasing the urgency of our desire.

 

You are a feast for my senses,

A banquet existing purely in my memories and dreams,

A fantasy to be seen only when eyes are closed

And heart is open.

 

And the question arises,

When all is still at the end of the day and

You are lying with eyes closed,

Can you feel me?

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

This was awesome, freaking awesome! Okay, perhaps I am looking at it from a way too detached point of view - not getting caught up in the emotions, but it is because of the way it was laid out - the order of the senses. By ending with "sight" in the middle, reversing the flow with "sight" to start, you relegated it to the middle - the least important of the senses. Well, for me. I know some people will think it is the creamy center of something tasty; but I do not care what they think. When it comes to sensuality, sight is simply the weakest of the senses. You start with feel, you end with feel before asking that question... where feel means more than just touch.

[Avery James]

What a bluntly honest, yet sensual way to describe two lovers. I can feel the dominance and desire in the tone of the speaker; you did and excellent job conveying it. Props to you!

[Lauren Beth]

I love this poem! You evoke such true passion and love, so that the reader can really feel it, smell it, taste it. Great images and sences throughout the piece. An amazing piece.

[Bridgett]

You are amazing! I am speechless...wow...so great

[Jessica M.]

This is truly a beautiful poem, the sensuality and emotion is very prevalent and tangible. I wonder if the repetition of the "can you"'s is necessary though, it seems the second "can you"'s in the first few stanzas could be taken out. It's just a suggestion. It's a lovely poem, you're obviously a great writer.

[Sorry Infamous]

I can see why you featured this. It is powerful, it is potent. The bond can be felt in every line, it awakes the senses and makes me ache for something that is rare to find. I have nothing to critique here. I simply enjoyed reading this elegant piece of art.

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a...]

Very well put together... I love the way every word brings you in...

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

A feast for the senses indeed! I love the way you begin with one sense, follow through them all, asking if he can feel, smell, taste, hear, and see. You then shift the gears into reverse, telling what you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel, as it relates to him. In the end, you are still left with the single question: "Can you feel me?," which takes us full circle to the beginning of the poem and your initial question. You go through all the senses and are still left wondering.

Great job!

[E.V. Black]

Breathtaking. That's my word for this. And if that doesn't describe, I don't know what other word does. I have read some excellent stuff before, and they're always different from each other in style. The use of words was pure excellence. I know we all have different ways of working with words, and I love to see that kind of diversity.

I'll favorite this. You might like to read some of my work. I'm new and haven't gotten a lot of hits, but I've been writing for about four to five years.

Loved reading the poem. Absolutely breathtaking.

-Evoblack-

[MagiCrystal]

All this deep feelings along with the touch of your magic love makes a vision within my mind..you have that ability..love this piece .. love it.. Kizzzz Magic

[Angel Baby]

It 's been a while since I 've read a poem that has totally captivated me from beginning to end...this poem is AMAZING! Very sensual and romantic, better than any romance novel I ever read....Well Done!