Elemental Confusion

This is just a little something I did to change my mental mood. Hope you all enjoy!

Pulling the wool from over my eyes,

scratched my pupils,

nearly detaching my retina.

I can see clearly now...

 

She walked away, sprinkling cinnamon,

leaving a lingering scent in which I

still inhale...

 

Darkness lay next to us, jealous.

Even the sun got hotter after it felt us.

The moon and sun just dance,

the beautiful eclipse of now.

 

Electro-static discharge,

I've been shocked to death in

little pieces, and you don't even care.

 

It's cool...

as the rain pours down.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Another amazing piece. When I read this it reminded me of the same style as Lupe Fiasco. Which is a good thing, because he's at the top of his game. This is my favorite part:


Darkness lay next to us, jealous.

Even the sun got hotter after it felt us


Nice, I never envisioned the dark and sun as tangible beings, but you blend it nicely in these two stanzas. Good at "thinking outside of the box." and making it your own unique creation words.

[Choosing Life]

It's Cool...

Intriguing line...

I think I hear Floetry...

[PhoeniX]

wow. this was pretty good. i liked it. my favorite part

'Electro-static discharge,
I've been shocked to death in
little pieces, and you don't even care'

awesome. good write