Criminal Mercy

 

There is the saw horse straddled by boards
but he is building nothing now.
The stained glass pane she said to order
over in Winston has fallen down.
Perhaps the weight of raccoons that wander
into the empty shadows of the open windows
or perhaps it is only time crushing color.
He doesn't care any more for details.
He used up the marrow of them when cancer
made such a ravage of her bones.
Now he stays alone and yes, he drinks enough
to be known as a drunkard.
He drills holes in barrels and lets his beer breathe.
He keeps the doors open and lets the house inhale
but he could not open her small lungs -
The way she struggled for breath and her eyes
so terrified, fastened on his, believing
he could stop this incredible pain -
And at first, when he believed in mercy,
he believed that to be true.
But his prayers would not leave the house.
His entreaties made everyone shake their heads
and glance somewhere to his right.
And, My God, her eyes, dulling slowly
to an understanding that he could not help.
In the end her eyes closed quietly
as he rocked her back and forth.
His own eyes became dead things,
crippled with a choice.
At the end he dully administered
all the morphine at once.

 

Reviews

[Greg the Bard]

I found this very depressing. It is a good work but to me it needs a little different ending. I am now going through what the person that died here in went through. I hope I'm never the burden on my family that this one was. I accept that she had no choise but I would have hoped for better for all. Your work always moves me and this one did too but it's just to soon for me. Thank you.

[cartera]

The last two lines are not exactly poetic; and that is only right. There is little poetry in cancer. Most folk in the 'western' world will encounter it directly or indirectly, some will even have such a decision to make.
The impotence of the healthy loved one can lead her/him to all sorts of feeling: even selfishness; but overall it is the impotence that destroys the onlooker. The administering is an act of love. Mis-guided some may say, but understandable.
....................
A trick subject to write about, but you have done it well. Not so much depressing as just plain sad.
ATB
Alex.

[An Ordinary Woman]

we say we'd rather be the one to suffer, to die in place of our loved ones. I can't think of anything worse than watching a loved one suffer. It's horrible.

I love your poem. right on.

[arbitrary jane]

what is there to say..? there is only to grieve the dying of two lights.

[Jibey]

Such a moving cameo... I remember the morphine when my moither died of cancer... and my sister... and how well you create that obvious mercy that is moved to end suffering... A painful poem but expanding understanding... Beautifully crafted

[W.k.kortas]

This is a sledgehammer swung by the angels.

[Ed Hart]

the genius of poetry sits in your heart

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very deeply emotional words... I think of the song that goes "You got to be cruel to be kind in the right measure"... sometimes doing the right thing can feel wrong when helping a loved one.

[roarke]

the many breaths of life.

[Robin]

heavy heavy heavy poetry , wow