Couldn't Believe

This is extremely personal to me.

It’s getting harder to breathe

My words are drowning

My lungs are screaming

Can’t you hear me?

Don’t you see

I don’t want this anymore.

Thought that you were someone I could count on,

A reliable person.

I guess I was wrong.

You were supposed to be someone I could confide in.

Instead you left me broken.

At night I lie awake, asking myself all of these questions.

Going over the scenario again and again.

Countless of nights were spent crying.

For months I was denying.

I kept the situation to myself so as not to appear weak.

Heart wrenching.

Teeth clenching.

I pulled myself through the mud.

Wishing I could just open up.

Why does this have to be so tough?

It’s not like I haven’t had enough.

Time to move on,

but I still feel so alone.

I can feel the ghost of your hands around my throat.

I was convinced you didn’t hear my “No”.

You were supposed to be my friend,

someone who would listen.

I don’t know what happened.

Its like your soul darkened.

I remember telling my boyfriend…

His reaction: 

“You cheated on me”

Even he thought I was to blame.

Why wouldn't I believe the same?