I Remember

A short abstract poem about remembering and being lost.

               I remember when you used to call me sunshine

I thought you were a liar
          because the broken lamps along the highway of bones and ego
     were burned out
                         and bleeding
          I was no shining light of glory and honour and hope

                                   I was a thunderstorm

rumbling along the canyons and valleys of my mind
               brimming with the rainwater of yesterdays sorrows
          and tomorrows high hopes
                              and low dreams that I would settle for
                         to feel free

Author's Note

Criticism and advice is always welcome.

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

You were sunshine so how is it that you use the phrase "broken LAMPS along the highway of bones" .. it is a nice piece of work though.. i just wanted to say that if you used the word sunshine you could have better used its features as you've done with the thunderstorm.

~Sophy

[PoeticParadox]

That is a good point, but in this instance I was using sunshine as a pet name that is fairly common rather than a metaphor, to show that there was a relationship of intimacy that was lost.

[Sophy Freebirds]

So it has a connotative meaning rather than denotative.. ;) okay.Gotcha

[Mauricio Montoya]

I remember a lot of things but what I like about this piece is the choice of word you use to describe the memories.
great job!