Why is there anything wrong with being self-sufficient?

Here's the Precious Prodigal post: August 14, 2014: Why is there anything wrong with being self-sufficient? #weneedfriends #notalone Please "Share" using this "ShortLink" = http://bit.ly/1rclni6

Eccl 4:9 "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.” 

We Americans are known for our self-sufficiency, and there’s nothing wrong with that in moderation. For people who are in recovery, however, it’s not necessarily a good thing. That’s true about our prodigals, especially those who have abused drugs or alcohol and need help. And while that certainly applies to them, it also applies to those of us who love them. 

I know our God walks this path with us, and I’m not minimizing that. But there are times when we need Him to put His arms around us through a person, to speak to us through the words of a trusted friend, to allow us to cry on an understanding shoulder. 

People who haven’t walked this path don’t understand our broken heart or the emotional roller coaster that’s so much a part of loving a prodigal. So I understand why some friendships falter and even die. I know the hurt of having “friends” separate themselves from us, seemingly afraid our family heartbreak might be contagious. I’ve been there, and it hurts. 

After you’ve been disappointed in or abandoned by “friends” a few times, it makes it difficult to reach out. I get that. In spite of that, reaching out when our lives are in turmoil is vital, but we want to be cautious in doing it. 

To expect people who haven’t walked this path to understand isn’t fair, and we’re sure to be disappointed. So we need to reach out, but it’s important that we reach out to people who have been there and understand. 

Our text verse today reminds us that, “two are better than one.” The next verse goes a step further and reminds us that if one of them falls, the other will “lift up his fellow” and warns of the dangers of falling when we’re alone. (Eccl. 4:10) It’s a tough path to walk when you love a prodigal, and I can’t imagine someone trying to do it alone. The good news is we don’t need to. 

AA, NA, Alanon, and Celebrate Recovery all use some version of the “12 Steps.” And regardless of the “recovery” program, the first of those steps starts with the words “We admitted...” For years, I thought the first word was “admitted.” Maybe the reason was because of that “elephant in the living room” I didn’t admit was there for so long, even to myself. 

At some point, however, I saw the “we” and realized I didn’t have to do this alone. I was an expert at making wrong choices. I didn’t know how to establish healthy boundaries, set limits, stop enabling or take care of myself. I learned to do those things from healthy, supportive friends. And I found that “we could do together what I could never do alone.” 

I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have people I trust walking this hard path with me. I draw on their courage when I have none, and I lend them my strength when they’re struggling. And neither they nor I have to do it alone. Neither do you.

It doesn’t have to be a recovery group. It could be a pastor, a counselor or a trusted friend. But reach out to someone because remembering we don’t have to do this alone is one of the things we need to hold fast. 

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, remember that you don’t have to walk this path alone? Can you reach out to someone?