On the Road

End of the road is not the end

The beginning of “On the Road”

 

Our lives are like a journey “On the Road”. You will get smooth roads, rough roads, colour lights, traffic, accidents etc… When we reach our destination, will it be the end of our journey? Will the end of the road is actually the end? Have you considered the fact that maybe it will be a beginning of a new journey?

 

“On the Road” is a short story of two best friends who were inseparable.  This story will take you through the memory lane of the main character who suffered a loss and the way she deals with her emotions.

 

This is a simple effort to remind you to enjoy each and every moment. Life is a journey full of emotions and we have to accept it whether we like it or not.

 

I hope you enjoy “On the Road” and be a shining light to others. 

 

1

 

Brrrringg… Brrrringg… Brrrringg…

 

Uhhh… Who would call at this hour?

 

It was only 4.00 o’clock in the morning when my mobile phone started to ring. Philip, my husband, and I went to bed late after an exhausting day and early morning calls were the worst start of a day. However both of us waited a bit longer wondering who that might be calling at this early hour.

 

“Honey, can you please answer it and see who that is? I need some more rest.” I asked him and I closed my eyes.

 

I heard Phil answering the phone but it became just whispering and after that I didn’t hear anything but felt some chill. Then I heard him putting the phone on the table. Having my eyes closed, I was wondering why is he silent. Is it because I am asleep or something else? Then I felt he sat near me and put his hand on my arm. This was my cue and looked at him slowly.

 

Phil’s eyes were filled with love and care but there was a melancholy feeling as well. He was trying to say something but kept looking away like he is trying to make up the words. The suspense was scaring me.

So I asked, “Tell me, what’s on your mind? Who called? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Sarah” 

 

My name was all he was able to murmur. I sat on the bed and looked straight in to his eyes. There was sadness in his face but more than that there was a troubled look. I didn’t want to push and stress him. He knew that I am waiting for his words. But he took his time to construct the words from mind. Then he slowly said,

 

“Sarah… Emma has passed away yesterday. The call was from her brother. He didn’t say any details.”

 

WHAT! EMMA! No way!

 

I wasn’t sure whether I heard it right. It was not something possible, yet it was possible but how can such a sweet soul leave us like that. My feelings changed simultaneously from suspense, anger, sadness and exhaustion. Head of mine was struggling to grasp the situation.

 

I had no idea how long my thinking period went on, but I felt my hand getting squeezed. Phil was looking at me. He had blurry eyes but he managed to have a straight face. I didn’t only have blurry eyes but a blurry everything.

 

“Sarah, I’ll pack our bag. Let’s get ready now. You can rest on the way. I am with you”

 

I kept sitting down while Phil slowly packed our bags took my hand and helped me to get ready. He didn’t say anything but silently took everything we needed for the journey. I didn’t say anything but silently did whatever Phil made me do. After several minutes or hours, which I had no sense of, we were dressed in black and in our van. Emma’s house was a bit far and needed a few hours for the journey.

 

Then we were on the road.

 

 

 

2

 

Emma! Emma was the sweetest even in her childhood. She was born as the first child to a wonderful couple, Mr. and Mrs. Shawn. Two years after her birth came little Johnny. Emma had a lot of love as the firstborn but even after her little brother was born, she was loved by many for her sweetness. She was a silent girl but an intelligent one from the beginning.

 

She had never troubled her parents and even after Johnny came to the picture she was only a good support to her parents. And the bond between the two siblings was unbreakable. She never scolded Johnny for his mischievous work as a boy. She patiently observed him and taught him the right and wrong as much as she could. And due to her parents as well as her kindness, Johnny too grew to be an excellent young man.

 

Emma had only a handful of friends, including myself, during her school days. Although she was a silent one, she was like a mother to the group of friends. She was the listener, advisor, helper and the supporter to all of her friends. Emma never let her friends to feel sad and frustrated. She was always there and had our backs. That is why she was a mother to us.

 

Even during her university years, although she talked and connected with everyone, she had few friends. And once again she was the leader of the group.

 

Emma was an intelligent one. Passing all school exams, passing out of university with honours and following her Post Graduate Degree portrayed her passion towards learning.  It was not only her qualifications, but her knowledge on many areas was remarkable.

 

One of her weaknesses was talking to boys whom she had a crush on.  She never wanted to start a relationship with anyone because she had her small group of friends who gave her the love she needed. Although she had few crushes, she never acted upon it. That is why she went to all her friends’ weddings without any partner.

 

Emma was the anchor in her family. She kept everyone checked and together on whatever the challenges they face. And now she’s gone.

 

*******************

 

Van has stopped and when I looked at the driving seat, Phil wasn’t there. I was not sure how long have I been in my dream world. However, the sun has already risen. Then I looked around and saw Phil coming out of a shop with some fruit juice cups.

 

“Honey, I bought some juice, since I am sure you don’t have an appetite, have this. It will give enough energy for the journey.”

 

He was right. I could not think of any food at this moment. But I took the cup and started to sip the juice. Phil quickly finished his cup and started to drive again.

 

While I am drinking slowly, I floated away to my memories again.

 

3

 

“It’s okay. You’re alright.”

 

Those were the first words she told to me. It is a normal set of words for people but for a 5 year old that just started school, it is something strange.

 

It was during the first days at school. I had noticed a silent girl who did not bother anyone and had a lovely smile. But I never tried to talk with her because I too was a silent one. But one day while others playing, someone knocked me and I fell. I was about to cry with pain but that girl came to me.

 

“It’s okay. You’re alright.”

 

She smiled and gave her hand. I got up. I did feel the pain but couldn’t cry just like at home. If I was at home, this was my specialty to take everyone’s attention. I would cry until my parents hugged me and soothed me. But not that day. I just kept starring at the girl who kept her smile.

 

“I am Emma. Let’s be friends.”

 

And just like that, we became friends for life.

 

 

*******************

Are we close now?

 

I was not sure where we are yet I didn’t have the strength to turn and ask. I looked slowly at Phil and although he was concentrating on the road, he gave a smile, held my hand and squeezed.

 

I still couldn’t believe what happened.

 

4

 

Emma and I had a lot of memories together; apparently not as much as we deserved. When you have a friend since you are five years old, you are lucky as you can be.

 

During a school day, when we were about 7 years old, we were playing, and we hit our heads together and both started to bleed. I was so scared seeing blood on her head, but she immediately started laughing turning pain into humor. And I still can remember the nurse at the medical center was confused to see two little girls bleeding, (not that much apparently) laughing and especially not crying while she patched us up. Even our parents didn’t take it too seriously, probably because it was a small cut, took it as funny as we thought it was at that time. Thinking about it now, it probably should have been worrying but yet they had hidden their emotions and went with the happy vibe all around.

 

The way Emma took everything as a positive was a special characteristic she had shown almost every day. One day a girl in our small group, which I cannot remember the name, scored low on a subject. I can remember the sad girl scared of telling her parents who were a bit tough about marks. Emma gathered our group and said, “We all are with you. Scoring low is not that bad. Tell your parents that next time you will definitely score more with the help of your best friends.”

 

It was like a motivational speech for young us. I can’t remember what happened with that girl, but I remember the feeling of being proud to be around this amazing girl.   

 

Although she and I did not live closer as much as we wished to live, our parents did let us stay together in either of our homes, like a night out. When we hang out at Emma’s place, the person really hated the night out was our little cutie pie, Johnny. Thinking back about it now, I really feel the boy’s concerns. Two girls hanging out, playing with dolls, doing makeup, having tea parties and laughing out loud certainly would’ve irritated him. Apart from that, making him join our activities would make Johnny really mad as he had no choice but to stay with us as we were supposed to look after him. I still can recollect his disappointed face while drinking the imaginary tea from our tiny tea cup. Ha-ha! Poor Johnny!

 

*******************

I felt Phil’s hand just stroking my head. I might have smiled while thinking. He didn’t try to say anything but reminded me that he’s there with that small gesture.

 

I took my phone and looked at the screen. There was a notification from Dad. Oh Dad! I quickly sent a message regarding the sad news and pushed my phone in to the purse.

 

*******************

Selection email to the university was one of the happiest days of my life. Yes, completing high school was a big deal yet the email from the university was more important. I was watching some videos on phone and got an email notification.

 

“Dear bla bla bla...It is with great pleasure to welcome you to our prestige university…”

 

Once I finished reading, I wanted to call Emma to tell the good news. And my phone rang. It was her.

 

“Hello”

 

“Sara, did you get an email?”

 

“Yessss. I got selected. Did you?”

 

“Yessssssssssss. We are going to university together…!”

 

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh”

 

That was the moment my mom came rushing to my room with an amused yet confused look on her face. If she had the rolling pin with her, she would’ve hit me on the head for scaring the hell out of her. After I explained what happened, Mom understood my insanity. I was happy to be selected to university but I was thrilled to know that Emmy will be there.

 

 

The last time I saw my dear Emmy was on my wedding day. She was so happy for me. She celebrated like it’s her wedding. I probably would have danced more with Emmy than with Phil. Of course she was my bridesmaid and her speech made me cry with tears of joy. Although we talked through phone, we couldn’t meet up after my wedding. After all the celebrations, she came to me and said, “It’s okay, you’re alright. Now you have him to take care of you. I can rest a bit now.”

 

*******************

 

And I burst into tears. I just couldn’t stop.

 

Phil quickly stopped the van aside the road. He got closer for me to keep my head on his shoulder. And while holding my hand he repeatedly said,  “You’re alright, let it out.”

 

5

 

After a while I felt exhausted but a bit calmer. I lifted my head from Phil’s shoulder and nodded to him and he understood that I was a bit okay now. Then squeezed my hand and started to drive again.

 

*******************

I am pretty sure I married Phil because of Emma. It was during a company visit for an assignment. We were at the final year at university. Emma was our group leader and we had to go to a company to collect some information. The company was so helpful and allowed us to meet a higher level officer in administration.

 

During a tea break Emma murmured to me. “Hey, did you see the guy?”

 

“What guy?”

 

“What do you mean what guy? The guy who was behind the officer? He seems cute right?”

 

That was the moment I really saw a nice gentleman near the officer who is giving us information. He did seem cute and handsome.

 

“Emma, after the discussion you should talk to him. Let’s get his number.”

“YOU CRAZY? I can’t do that. Stop pinching me.”

 

I was so impatient until the end of the meeting to make Emma and that cute guy to talk to each other. After the meeting I literally dragged her to the guy. Since she was not speaking, I spoke up.

 

“Excuse me sir, this is our team leader Emma and if we have any clarifications, can we contact you?”

 

 “Hey Emma and friend of Emma, yeah you can take my number. I am Philip by the way. You can call me Phil.”

 

He did speak cutely. Such beautiful eyes! And his smile was also nice.

 

While I enjoy his appearance, I starred at Emma because no sound was coming out of her. She just smiled and kept smiling. I pinched her. Nothing is happening. Phil also kept starring and he spoke up to break the awkward silence.

 

“Since Emma is frozen, friend of Emma can take my number”

 

“Friend of Emma is Sarah. I mean I am Sarah”

 

And I got his number. A few days after, we had to call Phil and Emma was so ashamed of her own reaction so she made me call him. I can promise that our first call was about our assignment but not the second call or the next million calls.

 

And here we are! Phil and I got along well and we became partners for life. Emma never complained even as a joke about what happened, but I was the one who always teased her that I stole her man because she froze and didn’t speak.

 

*******************

Our van turned to a small road and I recognized that it was the path to her house.

 

We were there!

 

 

 

 

 

6

 

As I soon as stepped out of the vehicle, memories of us in this place kept flashing on my mind. Phil was by my side supporting me to walk. Every step forward lead to more tears. I knew I had to face this.

 

Everything seemed calmer around me. It was never calm when we were playing in this garden. Although I saw some people around me, everyone was blurred. I didn’t hear anything. It is like everyone is murmuring for not to disturb my friend. When we came close to their front porch, I saw someone rushing out from inside. My eyes were so blurry that I had to wipe my eyes several times to see clearly.

 

It was Johnny, our little man. He is a young guy now. But for Emmy and I he is still little Johnny. I almost jumped up to him and hugged.

 

“Oh! Johnny. I am so sorry. I can’t believe it.”

 

For a while he didn’t say anything. We just hugged. I felt Phil’s hand on my shoulder. That is when I broke away. Johnny was trying so hard not to cry and keep a straight face yet he was failing. He took my hand and took me inside. Phil stayed by my side. After I enter Emma’s mother rushed to me and hugged me. Her father was also by her side. They knew that Emma meant the world to me same as she did to them.

 

After a while Johnny and his parents sat down on a near bench. Now I had to walk to my beautiful friend who is lying peacefully. I knew Phil is by my side. So I slowly went forward.

 

There she was! Even after all this, she looked like an angel, the angel who saved me. Tears were falling down non-stop. I just kept looking at her. How can this be? How can she leave us?

 

Surprisingly my blurry mind got cleared. I kept remembering all the memories we had together, both good and bad. I felt her positivity in me.

 

Emma lived her life. Her journey was to be an angel to her parents, her friends, her brother, many others and me. She was the shining light to a lot of people. She certainly changed my life. Her loss doesn’t change the fact that she lived a happy life and the fact that she made many others happy. Her loss doesn’t fade away the memories I had with her. She never left me. She is in my heart. She served her purpose. Now it is my time to find my purpose. Unfortunately she is not here with me physically to guide me. But she always will be in my heart.

 

With this thought my sadness went away. I felt free. So I whispered to Emmy.

 

“You’re right Emmy. It’s okay. I am alright. Thank you.”

Reviews

[Soren]

Life is a piece of an infinite journey of changing dimensions multiple perspectives and no beginning or end. Within it we see only a small present oriented perspective and a distorted past. Very interesting idea you have

[Primal]

Thank you for your comment. I want people to see both the sides of life.