The Girl of Sunlight

“The Girl of Sunlight”

 

Break ups are never easy. There will always be someone who moves on faster than the other, and unfortunately for me I’m the ‘other’ It was the end of the 1st semester so there were no classes for a while, a dream come true for us college students, but for me It’s still a nightmare because of that heart breaking talk I had with my ex girlfriend, Anna. To make the long story short, we were great, then not so much, I made a mistake, she moved on, and I’m still hanging.

I started cutting all forms of contact with her because I knew there were no restart buttons, no re-do’s and no second chances. She made it very clear on our last talk. It was game over and I blew it.

The days pass, and the emotional struggle was always taking its toll on me. I can’t eat or sleep right and I needed to keep busy everyday just to keep my losing sanity, but just when I think I can finally move on, Reality then states her cruel opinion every night in my sleep, but there was one dream that stood out among the rest.

The dream starts out like an ordinary day for most people, sitting on a bus waiting for the destination, but I wasn't like most people I have never gone out of my hometown all by myself before. I was sitting on the window side still being sad about the break up. I was thinking of ways I should have done to make my Anna stay, my thoughts took me to many scenarios and how we could have ended up happier. It was my sad attempt to be happy, but I knew I was dreaming so I could always bail out when things get too sad. 

I couldn't care less where the bus was heading, but I was mildly satisfied because of the peace and quiet which helps me prolong my pathetic, blissful thoughts. But then out of nowhere I saw Anna, my ex who was 18 yrs old with light skin. She has a round face and black smooth hair with bangs barely covering her eyes, she was fairly average in height, wearing a black t-shirt along with blue jeans, and she also wore a pair of blue eyeglasses that goes along with her dark brown hooded eyes. at the front of the bus standing still with her face full of sweat and her hands shaking as she was about to say something very important.

“Has anyone of you seen Allan!?”

“Please, He’s the love of my life, He would never leave me! So I’m begging you has anyone of you seen him?”

 

At that moment my heart stopped, I never really did liked Allan, he was one of Anna’s friends in the real world, he was an exceptional artist and he was kind towards everybody, but there was just something about him that bothers me and I can’t exactly put my finger on it. He wasn’t just her friend, I had no evidence to support that thought but somehow I just know it. I may be a little jealous or worse, I may be right.

I knew It was all a dream, but the pain I felt was all too real, my breathing pattern got slower, and I held my chest as tight as I could because I feel like my heart was about to burst right outside my chest. I knew I was having one of those lucid dreams, but just when I was about to escape this nightmare. I heard Jenna’s voice, Anna’s best friend saying:

“Calm down! Is he really the love of your life?”

And without having second thoughts Anna said yes in a clear and forceful manner.

“He would never leave me! I let some worthless idiot ruin my life, and Allan was there to comfort me! He loves me for who I am!” Anna said.

She then got all teary from saying all that in front of the passengers, people started to help Anna look for Allan; I could hear people talking bad about the worthless man that Anna mentioned.

“Man, I can’t believe that there are people who would take advantage of others. It makes me sick! People like him can’t seem to value the person that loves him. He deserves to be alone!” said one passenger.

Oh but I do value her, she was everything to me and that’s why the pain was too agonizing for me to handle, it even made me forget that I was in a dream, I had to sit there and take it all in. My mind was wrapped in tormenting pain and I didn't know how to react. Then suddenly the uneasiness led me to catch a glimpse of my seatmate. She seems to be 18 years old, the same age as me, she has brown eyes with fairly long dark brown hair, and she has a somewhat pale complexion, she was wearing a white Sunday dress with a pair of black sandals, she was smiling after she heard what Anna said. Thinking how lucky Allan must be to have such a caring lover.

Anna kept talking, but I couldn't bear to hear what she has to say. Out of desperation to ease the raging pain inside I asked my seatmate for a request which seemed impossible.

“Excuse me miss, I know what I’m asking is too much, but could you please hold my hand?”

My seatmate was startled upon hearing the request.

            “I understand if you don’t want to, after all I was that worthless idiot that girl upfront keeps on mentioning.”

As I was about to withdraw my hand, my seatmate quickly placed her hand upon mine with our fingers locking together. Then she said to me in a slow calming tone almost like a whisper:

            “You really loved her didn’t you?” 

Her hand was warm and soft, so full of hope and was inviting, it was like sunlight. That was all I could think of. I held her hand tightly. I didn’t respond to her question, I kept looking outside the window wishing for the agony to stop. I couldn’t stop shaking after hearing Anna keep saying the words: love, life, forever, and “Allan”

My seatmate began looking at me with concern, her admiration towards Anna’s words slowly became pity, and every time she hears those same words she would hold my hand tighter as if she shares my pain. My heart forgot what beating pattern it should follow. It would start racing, going as fast as it can and then suddenly slowing down without warning. I could feel the pain still flowing through me and it seems like it would never subside.

Then suddenly I felt what seem to be warm drops of rain falling upon my right hand, as I turn my head to see what’s going on I saw my seatmate crying, and her tears were falling on to our held hands. I then checked to see if she was all right, she then said:

“I’m crying so you won’t have to.” and then gave me a smile with her tears still flowing down her face.

My eyes began to get all teary from all the emotion that my seatmate was enduring with me; I then smiled back with my eyes also teary and said thanks, with my voice still having hints of pain beneath them.

After an hour or two my mind was finally off Anna, my seatmate did me a huge favor! My mind was finally free to think of other things, a feeling that I thought I could never regain. I was about to thank her, but then I noticed that she fell asleep with her head gently pressing against my shoulder. As I looked down our hands were still intertwined. I felt a lot better, and I was about to let go of her hand thinking that I was being too much of a burden. As I slowly let go, she then held my hand tighter and said “No” in a fading voice while still sleeping. I was shocked and after a short pause I smiled at her and decided to hold her hand for a little while longer. 

“You two are a wonderful couple.” An old woman sitting beside us said in a cheery manner.

“Oh no, she’s not my girlfriend.” I exclaimed.

“I know. She’s my granddaughter after all” the old woman said as she was smiling at me.

After hearing that, my heart stopped, yet again and I can feel all the blood in my body rushing to my face giving it a red glow that would put a stop sign to shame. My seatmate’s grandmother just saw me! A complete stranger holding on to her granddaughter’s hand! I’m going die right here in this bus! Its okay I’ll just have to act cool.

“I’m not a pervert I swear!” �" Yeah... Not exactly what I had in mind.

“It’s alright I saw and heard everything, your heart seems to be in the right place” the woman said laughingly.

“Yeah, that sure saved me from one impossible explanation; your granddaughter sure is something. Never thought she’d help out a stranger like me”

“Yeah, she surprised me too, she never talks to guys let alone hold his hand. You must be really special to give her such bravery.”

“Special? Yeah, that’s what my ex thought of me too. She called me different from the rest, she loved me and I let her down.” I said as my mind started wander off.

“Everybody makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean everyone is worthless. A person’s worth is defined on what he does next after making that mistake” the woman said.

Her carefully chosen words struck my head as I left to ponder on that thought.

“Even if I do know what I’m going to do, I don’t think I’m brave enough to do it.”

“You know not everyone can ask a complete stranger to hold their hand amidst the pain they’re suffering, but you did it. You were so sure that my granddaughter would decline your request, but you asked her anyway. If that’s not bravery then I don’t know what is.” 

Her words gave me hope again, I felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I then turned my head to look at my hand still holding on to my seatmate’s hand, no matter how many minutes pass the warmth of her hands never seems to fade away.

The old woman then smiled and looked away to give us the time for ourselves.

As I looked out of the window I can see the sun setting down as it spread its colour upon the vast sky, it was such a shimmering sight. I was so tired my eyes were starting to lose vision; everything seems to fade away, and just when I was about close my eyes my seatmate, half-awake said:

“Are you feeling better now?”

I then nodded my head because I was so tired and no voice was coming out of my throat.

“That’s good, Good morning.” my seatmate said

I chuckled because it was about to get dark outside she must haven’t noticed it yet, but nevertheless I still greeted her back with a good morning.

The bus then came to a stop with the driver saying that was as far as he could go. I saw that we were the only ones who were still on the bus. Anna and Jenna must have left earlier. I never knew whether or not Anna found Allan on the bus.

My seatmate and I both got off our seats and we then slowly let go of each other’s grip. Even after letting go my hand still feels the warmth embrace of sunlight.

As we were about to depart I thanked my seatmate for what she did for me, I was about to introduce myself when she suddenly put her hand to cover my mouth. And then she said:

“Ssshhh, don’t tell me, because then it wouldn’t be much fun, I’m glad to have met someone like you. Just remember that the sun can light up even the darkest of nights.”

“You know you’re pretty cute when you’re not sad” she said happily.

“Oh yeah? Well even if you were crying you’d still look pretty cute.” I said

After about 3 seconds we suddenly realized what we just said to each other, our faces turned red and we looked away for a moment thinking to ourselves “What the heck did I just said!?” after the awkward pause we both laughed as if we didn’t have a care in the world.

“Hey I have an idea! Let’s play a game of hide and seek.” she said

I was puzzled upon hearing her idea but then I said

“Hey, if you could hold a stranger’s hand for that long then who am I to say no to you?” I said laughingly.

“Ok, close your eyes and count to 3. You better find me fast or else I may forget that were playing a game.” She answered while laughing.

“It’s a promise.” I said.

She then puts her hand over my eyes to make sure I wasn’t peeking. I could still feel the warmth of her hand as she covers my eyes. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt happy and when she touches me. My problems seem to fade away. I then closed my eyes ready to play the game.

“Okay, 3...    2...    1... I can’t wait for us to meet again, no matter where I hide I know you’d come running for me, thank you.” She said.

I was shocked after hearing those words, I quickly opened my eyes, but to my surprise I was in my room. I was somehow disappointed because I forgot that it was all just a dream, but then I felt a warm and inviting light hit my face. The sensation was so familiar, it was the same warmth my seatmate made me feel. It was morning; I suddenly grabbed my cell phone to check what day it is, and to my surprise I saw that it was the beginning of Sunday.

“I guess you really are the girl of sunlight. Oh well, ready or not here I come.”

 

 

 

Reviews

[Gregoire William Randel..]

It sounds nice here.
I hope you can keep up your work. Everything is fine. I suggest that you re-read your own writing after a week or two and you will find some mistakes or some new ideas yourself.
Keep it up!

Sincerely,
G. W. R (you can also call me G. A.)