Attainment

From slumber dawns the wrinkled folds, 

of the desperate sunrise praying to grasp,

the illustrious red arrow of eternity. 

With heart elegantly pierced,

stumbles through the gates of reason,

to await the approach,

of dusk's violet scythe,

shimmering with the distant, extinguished, 

phantom souls from eons past.

From knees bent in pleading, 

stand tall and look,

towards the fading rays of gilded sun,

with hope to rise again. 

Author's Note

I appreciate constructive criticism, with that said please make sure to be specific. I am a fledgling writer so I do not expect gleaming reviews but if there is something you particularly like it is nice to hear!

Reviews

[poetdoug]

"From knees bent in pleading, stand tall and loo, towards the fading rays of gilded sun, with hope to rise again." You have a wonderful vocabulary Evan and from what I read here, are learning to use it creatively well. I also like your form and ease of shaping your lines. Great last line--"With Hope to rise again."
Keep up the good work my friend.

[Evan Winslow]

Thank you very much! Your input is much appreciated!