Distant Love. Maybe.

It's something I'm at a complete loss to understand. So utterly far-fetched, this feeling, and yet so undeniably potent.

Oh if only I wasn't so sure that I love you.

If only I could coax my heart that there isn’t a chance of anything blooming between us, of nights together under the stars, of endless days of poetry, piano, books and fireplaces. But the wind whispers your name, the trees in my favorite spot form a cathedral every time my thoughts wander towards you, your songs mean so much they hurt. How long do I have to wait?   

You've been in love before; still in love maybe, with innocent, shy, pretty girls and it doesn't bother me. Oh no, it doesn’t. You needn’t worry about that. I am happy as long as you give me some attention; throw me a flattering word once in a while maybe. It’s bewildering. Not for you. For me. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I’ve mastered Richard Bach’s philosophy, I know more about life than you! And yet, you, one little man, cyber worlds away from me, tamper with my emotions. I must be crazy.

Every time I gush about you to my best friend, I feel more than ever that we belong. Every waking moment (almost) you star in my dream visions. I write about you in my diary every single day, without any reason sometimes. Like, “What if he were sitting right beside me? What would I do!” or “Oh gosh! He looks like my college librarian!” and then my thoughts get completely side tracked. I dream of the time I would meet you in person for the first time. I would be waiting outside your home, consciously nonchalant, and you would chance upon me and shout my name out in amazement, your beautiful eyes round and wide… But there is every possibility that you wave a ‘hi’ and be on your way. Sigh. I just don’t know what you think about me. I don’t know if you ever think of me.

You are the most precious thing to me. Yours is the most sublime overture my heart’s extended. That’s why you mean so much to me… I wish you could understand. And I wish my eyes would stop watering like it is now. The blue lights on the laptop get all fuzzy, my head aches and a sad song thrums in the background.

“I don’t know why you feel so bad,

Where is the life you once had?

And still this horrid feeling grows and grows, the way you want it to.”

-Keane.

Oh if only I wasnnly i ’t so sure that I love you. 

Reviews

[CA Geetha]

Lovey Write!
I personally feel If you want to know what he thinks about you or whether or not he thinks about you, you should just ask him. Again, I could be wrong.

[Vrushali]

Your best friend feels you both belong too. She also feels you will meet him someday, just like that. And she hopes he will realize that what you both have is--magical.

P.S: Still laughing at the pedophile comment!

[Writer #00]

Well, as long as he/she's not a pedophile luring you into his/her trap...

Nicely written, I liked the tone of the letter-ish thing. I listened/am listening to the song you quoted from...just because I felt like it was important. What's a 'tube' in this sense? Did you purposefully make the last line rhyme with the last line of the quote?

03u rhp1ic/100

[Priyanka Natesh]

:) Well, he is not a pedophile. Haha :) No, no, he is someone I very much love; from a distance, because it's best that way.

Well...I interpreted,"As you walk into the tube" as walking into closure...shying away from facing the inner truth, into obscurity. But then you can have different interpretations.
Well, i didn't mean for the two lines to rhyme. I wanted to give this piece a poem+prose feel, and so I wanted the first and the last lines to be the same.

Thanks for listening to the song as well :) You're a wonderful reviewer :)

[Writer #00]

You're welcome/ thank you.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Great write.

[Suranshee]

really nice piece of work...

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Beautiful write..!!!

[msharma]

Really emotional story .Good written.

[Nino James P. Cuestas]

what a gorgeous story, sometimes it looks like a narrative essay or poem for me.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful story. Love can lead us to paradise or more education. But if we don't enter the dance. We won't know the glory of love. I like the final statement in this excellent story.
Coyote

[Sleeping Maiden]

Awww! Wow. This is sad but i love the passion the girl feels here. Sometimes long-distance love can work though. It really depends. Both persons have to work at it. And i love this story! nicely done! It's a cute piece.