Emptiness

Emptiness

A Poem by Patrick O'Neil

I have no value, no meaning. 
My life is a rumor, just a myth. 

Thinking, contemplating, 
my utterly useless breath. 
This body, mind and dead soul. 
Fallen, ice cold, drifting pointless. 
Impact without a sound or tremor, 
 no shock wave, no hole. 

Dreams, hope and laughter. 
The stuff of smoke and mirrors. 
Comic delusions of a life. 
The trap of consumer hell. 
Everything a new addiction. 

I? in upper case. No never. 
Lower, that dust on a rock. 
Sticky gum, on the sole of a shoe, 
an irritation, disgusting mess. 
 i, am nothing but bills. 

Old wives tail, in an archive. 
Just a number, on a debtor list. 
Toe tag and lot reference. 
Obituaries of men, 
that never lived.

© 2013 Patrick O'Neil


Author's Note

Patrick O'Neil
The abyss of worthlessness.

My Review

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Reviews

Not bad. Don't forget you don't have to cap every line. Some of your word choice is a little odd at first glance, but on the most part there's nothing glaringly unusual. Good use of imagery, and overall, this is very focused. Good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Patrick O'Neil

11 Years Ago

Thank you for positive feedback.
Bit depressing but very well put. I like the third verse the best; mixture of societal critique with personal growth (or the lack of it?). Thanks, will read it again when in the right mood ;-).

Posted 11 Years Ago


Patrick O'Neil

11 Years Ago

Thank you much appreciated.

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Added on May 18, 2013
Last Updated on May 20, 2013

Author

Patrick O'Neil
Patrick O'Neil

Gauteng, South Africa



About
I am just an average man, with a normal live, and then suddenly i started writing poetry. Go figure??? I also post original rock style music on Sound Cloud, check it out if you are in to that sort .. more..

Writing