My First Time

It was not rape. It took me awhile to write about that night because I was hurt, I still am alittle, but it is easier now, now that he is out of my life. If you are under the age of 18 please beware.

 

 

 

My First Time

The room was pitch black

All I saw was him and me

He was all over me

Kissing my lips

Taking my shirt off

Then my bra, pants and underwear…

Moving his hands down below..

Grabs me and has me on top

Moves my hands lower and lower…..

He lays next to me

Whispering if I want it inside me..

I told him I did not know

Just kept kissing and rubbing me

I wanted it..

He climbed on top of me

Was inside of me now

Moving faster and faster..

I told him to go slow

It was like he wasn’t listening

It hurt so much..

He kept asking why I was fighting it

I told him to slow down

Still kept going…

I was freaking out.

He stopped.

Didn’t ask if I was ok.

Just left me lying there on his bed

Someone wiggled the door handle

I rushed to get dressed

We went outside to my car

Took a drive, he acted like we didn’t do a thing…

I told him I was shaky and freaking out

He asked if I was ok

I paused and lied “Yes”..

He rambled on about something else

He knew exactly what he did

I left that night crying for days…

Just didn’t think he would ever hurt me like that

But he did and it only got worse after that

When he left me to go back to his ex..

He tricked, lied, hit and ran..

This will always be in my heart forever

The day how my first time went..

Reviews

[Spoken]

it may not have been rape, but i'm sure it felt like it. terrible way to experience what is supposed to be a moment full of love. All i can say is.. what a b*****d! through very different events i know how this can leave a scar.. it's difficult and I feel sadness for you.. you are very brave to write of this pain and i applaud your courage..

[Sean M. Addams]

i'm kind of speechless on this ... to me making love should be a pleasure enjoyed by both never a painful regretable experience.... only time can heal memories and wounds.... a very powerful piece....

[RastaChiko™]

I got the knife. You get the net

[kewlbluetiger]

Wow you have a ton of courage to put this to paper. It rings with a genuine honesty and vulnerability through the writing. Hopefully your ability to poetically write this event in your life can prevent others reading it to fall victim to a heartless act. Hope you found healing and hope for future love in your write.

[closed account]

oooh wow,,, this happens every second of the day all around the world..
beware beware beware,,, when you are young and hormones are bouncing
off the wall, sometimes girls get sucked into it? but if anything thing this
poem will help others to becareful and not put themselves in that situation!!

SORRY this was a true story,, the first time should be beautiful

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW !!!
What A Jerk !!! What A B*****d Indeed !!!
He Could Care Less About You !!!
What An Idiot !!!
He Is Dumb !!! So Immature !!!
I Could Scream !!!

And yet ... there you are ...
So beautiful, so precious, so innocent ...
And he does that to you ...
Doesn't even care what you think or how you feel ...
You are so brave and so strong ...
How horrible it must have been ...
How aweful it must have felt ...

Then at the end, he acts like nothing happened at all ...
Wow ...
Where is his heart and where is his soul ...
And does it still beat forevermore ...

Such sorrow you must have gone through ...
Such pain you must have felt ...
Such tears you must have shed ...

You Are So Much Better Than He Ever Will Be !!!

You are so courageous !!!
To have written all that here ...
WoW !!! I do applaude you !!!

Must not have been easy ...
No ... not at all

You Are So Much Better Than Him ...
And I Am Certain You Will Always Be !!!

[M. Amphet Salt]

Very sad and I would have found a way to humiliate the b*****d back and stab his pride as he did yours.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

It is really sad for our society that people like him exists in it but again we can't do anything for help it!
This happens and sigh! its so sad.
I'm glad that you throw light upon this topic!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

This is an incredible write! Unfortunately, I could see every moment, but that's the sign of a great piece as well! This is such a familiar story with lots of young women but I don't think I've read it as raw as I have here. It's almost written with a vacant emotion that I'm sure is felt in days after the event. This was a great write with it's honesty and emotional stillness.

[Arthur Crow]

Some guys do not know (or care) how to treat a girl properly.. It's sad, such a sacred moment should be gentle, slow and mystical - something that seems to last forever. You are strong for writing about it.

[Just Manoosh]

You are a very brave lady. Your strength shows throughout this piece.

Memories fade but never go away, believe me I know, but writing such as yours is a great step to controlling them.

Hugs
Mx