Unenviably Human

A Stage Play by QuiteOllie

This is a scene of a play that I'm considering developing and writing in full. The writing style is based on Steven Berkoff's work so you'll have to imagine that it has a lot of pace and rhythm to it

Sat at a table on a single chair. The table has a knife and fork on it and nothing else.

WAITER. For you sir?/ A white wine and the olives perhaps/ with garlic and herbs and cracked black pepper/ leaves a sting on your tongue to tantalise the senses and coax out indulgence/ delicious/ mouth-watering/ scrumptious/ beautiful/ exquisite/ drink sir/ and eat and eat and eat

EDWARD. Yes yes the olives and wine/ but wait to hear more/ for tonight I dine/ with purpose/ at last a reason/ excuse/ an outright lie/ my wife/ the b***h/ has left me to die/ I threw her things in her face/ at last I have escaped that witch/ the b***h/ so tonight I dine/ bring me your finest monsieur/ faster/ make haste/ well don’t just stand there/ move/ don’t wait for approval/ bring me food and drink/ and drink/ and drink/ you little piece of s**t/ a bit of bread too if you will/ soaks the wine so fine/ oh bring me mine!/ tonight I dine

WAITER. Right away

EDWARD. He says it with a small smirk/ the waiter’s modesty would bulge and convulse and spasm and/ snap under the weight of another generous tip/ so I won’t/ let him walk and let him fetch me my magnificent meal/ I’ll rip him apart at the seams/ clean a knife to make a clean slice across his belly and finally see those guts of which I hear so much/ what?/ no/ no/ no/ musn’t/ can’t/ won’t/ will/ not retrain myself any longer

WAITER. White white wine sir/ enough for him and enough for her/ wouldn’t you agree?/ Is there a her or perhaps a he sir?/ Tell me sir tell me tell me tell me

EDWARD. Tell him/ never/ my mind is mine and dirtied and soon to be fed

WAITER. Sir your expression is repulsively tortured/ distorted/ pained/ have a drink sir drink!/ drink and drink and

[the waiter’s throat is slit]

EDWARD. One slit to the throat takes the goat right out/ he staggers before me but I care not/ You f*****g b*****d piece of s**t/ you want me to drink/ and so here I drink and tonight I dine/ but not here/ the service is s**t/ a bit too friendly/ eager to please

[looks into the audience and pauses]

Look at me not/ look at me not/ ffffffffffffuck off!

[takes a deep breath, smartens himself and sighs]

Mary

[he swigs the wine and goes]