Playground Philosophy

 

 

“It’s all bullshit,

you know,” says one little kid

to another.

 

The second kid pokes a crayon

into a nostril and asks,

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Them; forcing their crap down our throats.

Don’t chew

and don’t swallow, okay?”

 

“What should I do then?”

 

“Spit.”

 

The second kid spits

on the playground floor.

 

“Will that work”?

 

“Don’t be so literal-minded.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Look -” says kid number one,

“are you a girl or a boy?”

 

“Is this a test?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is it a trick question?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m a boy.”

 

“How do you know you’re a boy?”

 

“I just am.”

 

“So when you woke up this morning,

did you just decide to be a boy?”

 

“No, stupid, I’ve always been a boy.”

 

“Says who? Do you remember being born?”

 

“No.”

 

“So who told you you’ve always been a boy?”

 

“This crayon tastes funny...

Nobody told me, I just know.”

 

“Don’t eat it then. Does your dad

call you a girl?”

 

“NO! He says I’m a boy.”

 

“Okay, so you’re a boy because your dad says so?”

 

“No.”

 

The second kid starts tracing shapes

in the dirt with his fingers.

 

“Because teachers say so?” presses

the first kid.

 

“No.”

 

“So how do you know you’re a boy?”

 

“I play with Harry and Carl and

they’re boys.”

 

The first kid thinks this over.

“Am I a boy or a girl?”

 

“You’re a girl.”

 

“But I play with Harry and Carl too. So

I must be a boy as well.”

 

“You’re a girl.”

 

“But if playing with Harry and Carl

is what makes you a boy, then I’m a boy too.”

 

“Nope, it doesn’t work like that.

 You’re a girl.”

 

“Well then, maybe you’re a girl too.”

 

“No, I’m not – I’m a boy!”

The second kid starts crying.

 

“Don’t you want to be a girl?”

 

“NO!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I’m a boy. I like doing boys’ things.”

 

“Well, what are girls’ things?”

 

“Dolls and dresses and lipstick and

stupid stuff like that.”

 

“Well then, I don’t like girls’ things.”

 

“Too bad.”

 

“Too bad for you as well, since you

might not be a boy.”

 

“Shut up! I AM a boy!”

 

“So am I, remember? I play with

Harry and Carl too.”

 

The second kid thinks hard, sniffling.

“Boys don’t wear skirts.”

 

“I don’t wear skirts.”

 

“Boys have short hair.”

 

“Not all of them do. Anyway, I

have short hair.”

 

“Boys don’t cry.”

 

“You just cried.”

 

“They don’t cry about stupid things

like falling over or getting their clothes dirty.”

 

“I don’t cry about stupid things.”

 

There is silence for a moment,

and then a triumphant smile

creeps over the second kid’s face.

 

“Can you pee standing up?”

 

“I do sometimes.”

 

“But do you have a willy?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you’re a girl.”

 

“So you’re a boy because you have a willy?”

 

“Yeah, and you don’t so you’re a girl!”

 

The first kid drops her head, defeated.

 

“You’re weird!”says the second kid,

and runs away.

 

Alone now, the first kid sighs.

“Guess I better get used to that, huh?”

Author's Note

This isn't very good. It's mainly just for me; I'm trying to explore my own head.
Any suggestions to help it run smoother would be appreciated though. Thanks.

Reviews

[Mike Mitchell]

Hahaha this is good. Great dialogue, once again. It's reminiscent of 'Godot': just the back and forth of two characters that are trying to figure s**t out. You should try working in the play form. From what I've read of your's, you're a very dialogue based writer, and you don't rely much on narration, which is good. So why not think of performance more than storytelling?

[Tamme]

I like how the story exist mostly in dialog. I think the conversation moves along pretty much flawlessly. The topic, while making me smile at times, is a very interesting one. For the most part people are who they are because it's what is expected. I don't think to many people sit down and say "Am I me or I am the person everyone thinks I should be?" And it could fit into so many aspects of life, career, family, school and not just gender roles. I think this story address this very well.

Some people might say a child wouldn't speak like the girl in this, but I feel that using children to convey point was a good thing. I mean you could water down her vocabulary and it would still make sense , but personally I like it the way it is.

[Tony]

Of course the little girl would know the word, 'bullshit'.
Any child as clever and ornery as this one would.
And there would always be those who would have to suffer the questions and experiments of the same.
Like the little boy.
This is a fun story, I am not sure if I like the layout though.
I found the bold and regular distractive. But then I mostly read old books, with the same old Catholic print, and am suspicious of experiments in font and color.

[Emily Rose]

I like this very much, especially the way the girl thinks. It's clear and concise, halfway between poetry and prose - it's deftly handled, especially since it's so fresh and new. The idea of kids on a playground questioning who they are and why is a really intriguing one - I get the sense that the little girl (I picture her as about eight) is frustrated and trying to sort out her own thoughts (she must spend a lot of time thinking, reading, pondering the universe - I'd bet she's one of the less popular kids at the lunchtable) and the little boy doesn't really know what to make of it.

It kind of confuses me how the little girl knows the word "bullshit" though. Perhaps she lives in a violent household, or perhaps I'm underestimating her age. It's a good device on your part, though: you really have the kids acting older than they let on (especially the girl) and putting words in their mouths that they perhaps shouldn't know at that age is a nice, subtle indicator of how much they've grown up before they should. It's also very intriguing that the little girl can make the boy cry simply by making him think to hard. Are you reflecting on the little boy's age and thus the fragility of his mind (in comparison to the girl's) or simply the anti-intellectual culture that we live in? I'm leaning toward the latter - your voice comes through clearly in this piece, which is nice since it blurs the line of where the girl's thoughts end and your own begin.

Why, though, does the little boy point out the differences in physical anatomy later instead of at the beginning of the discussion? I was waiting for that to happen through the argument and it puzzled me that it was only brought up at the end. At that age (and again, I could be underestimating their ages) the physical differences are rather important and obvious, and thus they would spring to mind first. Plus it's just like a non-philosopher to draw examples from the physical world first rather than the metaphysical one to prove a point. You might want to rework the ordering of the little boy's defenses accordingly, but perhaps not.

(Also, as a grammatical side note, I think the apostrophe in "boy's" should actually go at the end: "boys' things" because you're referring to the possessive "boys" collectively instead of singularly.)

At any rate, this is a fantastic piece that really gets at the heart of some deep, philosophical questions in a very interesting and original way. Kudos for writing it and making me think!

[holly]

I liked it. That is really all I can say. It's the same thing I keep thinking about, how we all get propagandized by well-meaning but thoughtless adults to be something "normal", something understandable in a wide social context. When, given the chance, we might become something totally new.

[Little Mouse]

You say it isn't very good... but I found it kinda humorous. I like it's simplicity and briefness. The voice of the young/innocent seems to be captured well. -:3 )~~~

[PianoandPage]

belonging to several trans and genderqueer groups i've heard similar thoughts and points on what "defines" gender.

it's obviously not sexual parts as those can be surgically changed. and there are thousands of people who have been diagnosed and live with gender disphoria.

it's not stereotypical behavior either because there are always exceptions. there are tomboys and effeminate men. always will be.

it isn't clothing either. lol. clothing has changed gender associations within the confines of america and anglo-saxon history several times.

is it mental? i don't think so. i know genderqueer people who have typical "male" brains and yet identify more as female.

is it a lifestyle? i also disagree with this as there are a high likelyhood that as a trans person you will be on the recieving end of major drama with your closest family members, and possibly violent reactions from society. why choose this?

it is a mystery and something i think many of us struggle with.

ok my personal rant is over.

i think this is a good start. anything you write that gets your head into the idea and explores it further is a good thing.

i find it interesting pychologically that you set this up as a dialogue.

[Hedra Helix]

Its pretty intriguing C, its like... you kinda know where it all should be going... but its a bit hard to keep up cos something deeper is brewing, or challenging to.

My only suggestion cos I really did enjoy it, is to separate everything that isnt dialog from the dialog, that would help with the tiny feeling of lost clarity, it would help us get into their heads cleaner and really see the little nuances in how each phrase what theyre meaning.

dope dude, I like this a lot.

Tim read you pc in the anthology, he really felt it;) Tim's a harsh critic;)

[eli mercuree rue]

maybe the first id could be a super genius and go on about a gender queer rant who falls for neither persuasion

gender
screw
it

boylan's kids


siggy

willy
hole
hole willy

really big whole
sale fresh market

sexual seperation
or seperation of sex

if you follow then you are the boylan
who understands my under the influence reviews

:)

keep it

boy
lan

i think your name says it all
this was supposed to be a mindfuck even before you were born

c
lear
ly

ok

[L.V. Ana]

This is a really interesting piece. Perhaps to better separate the dialogue of the second child from the narration you could put the narration or the second person's dialogue in italics? Since all it really is, is dialogue, there's not much that a) I can find wrong with it and b) I'd be good at helping with. My forte really is narration...it runs pretty smoothly as it is. I really like it.

[W.k.kortas]

Actually, I like the pacing of the whole thing--it sounds very much like an actual conversation between two children, and it's very clever. Right now, though, the journey is much more fun than the destination; it's kinda headed somewhere, but it's not quite there, if that makes any sense. I'm not quite sure of the point or the "moral" as it stands.