Pinocchio Couldn't Help It

 

mopping, take a moment to energise yourself on the craziest broom-stick rodeo never seen

and practise laughing aloud, without a trace of self-consciousness – if children, lunatics

and evil masterminds can manage it, so can we –

 

now wait for someone to pass by the window and burst into song, at the sort of volume

reserved solely for midday shower solos when you’re certain nobody’s home

- did you startle them?

 

good.

 

what, you think you know all about honesty now?

you merely had a moment.

people lie to themselves; they think they crave truth x infinity

because those moments often feel important, but society’s a carnival of contradiction

and the saintly are kept in cages

while prizes are handed over to false-faced performers.

 

what’s your most embarrassing memory?

instant reaction: blush, duck, erect impenetrable shield behind wide, unblinking eyes.

 

I’m not asking you to suddenly stand up on a crowded bus journey and yell out,

my most embarrassing memory is, aged five, attempting to share the joy of masturbation with my mother -

 

no, no.

 

but waking up shouldn’t mean shutting down

elements of the true self – wash your face, brush your teeth and slip on your semblance; erase the person who occasionally trips up, f***s up, farts in public and uses their shampoo bottle for a microphone.

 

why do we pretend to be invincible?

 

brushing against one another in the street, avoiding eye contact, afraid vulnerability might shine through our pupils – giveaway, like a burglar’s torchlight spotted through the curtains.

straitjacketed in your own skin by social insanity; breaking into a solitary dance along the pavement unthinkable, cars beeping their judgemental horns, smirks pressed up against the safety glass.

 

dishonesty’s dangerous when you no longer believe in yourself – uptight, worthless, you trudge home; track six tugs at your heartstrings but the world weighs heavy on your puppet strings and there’s no skip in your step.

 

adjust headphones, hate self, sigh.

 

people. they say they want honesty 

but they’re lying.

 

secretly selective, they long for partners not to cheat

and their celebrities to confess all on TV – but generally , we’re obliged to maintain the farce.

tell her she’s thin. laugh at his racist jokes. no, it doesn’t make you a s**t. of course there’s a heaven. people we know won’t die anyway. parents love you no matter what.

 

back to the walk home: deserted street, urge to bounce off walls and swing on lampposts -

honesty tapping at the brain, wailing around your ears.

 

don’t wait for the chorus before letting it in, just –

 

good.

 

Author's Note

Thanks to all those who helped me with this; I think it's almost 'there'.

Discarded lines from when I was writing this [I'm too soft to delete them straight off]:

I don�t even know what I�m asking of you.
now that�s honesty.
if you�ve ever wiped your arse and come away with flecks of shit on your hand � you are not welcome.
uptight. dishonest. same difference, same cause -
an old man overtakes you on a skateboard, smiling at everyone around him
I�m begging you, end the charade.
be yourself. and then be yourself being a kite, a raptor, a frog, a rapper...
jump and spin the way toddlers do
if this deceit is benefitting us, why so despondent? if it isn�t, why continue?
we carved a restrictive cave into the mountain face, decided to live inside
- and now we�re trapped.
a celebrity�s TV confessions, yes, we will applaud that.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

UK Spelling

practice - noun meaning 'the action of doing something rather than the theories about it' (putting policy into practice),

practise - verb meaning 'do something repeatedly to improve your skill' (they were practising for the Olympics).

In American English, both the noun and the verb are spelled practice.

[PianoandPage]

-boylan

don't make me smack you. "what went wrong?" you ask. you my friend (i f*****g love you) are adorably tragic in the same way i am.

*writes a social valid piece of genius on toast that has meter, imagery, metaphor, alliteration, and wit as well as a thick spread of heart* .... "uh... here it's not very good."

WHAT?! what the f**k is wrong with you?

this is brilliant in ways i can't even begin to describe. i loved EVERYTHING. included your "deleted" bits.

the only critique was that the first sweeping line threw me a little. everything else i related to and you made me thing AND feel. made me question myself even as the words echoed the questions i've thrown out to the world.

you have an amazing pulse on humanity which is essential for all great writers and that is why you are counted amongst the few here that i truly enjoy.

the whole piece is amazing but here are some of my favorite lines...

"because those moments often feel important, but society's a carnival of contradiction
and the saintly are kept in cages
while prizes are handed over to false-faced performers." - love the alliteration with "carnival of contradiction". i really agree with this. it read like something i would write.

"why do we pretend to be invincible?" - i really dug how you contrasted with image laden stanzas that are then just slain with this simple yet piercing question. kudos.

"cars beeping their judgemental horns, smirks pressed up against the safety glass." - i really love this line how you nail the look... the feeling. the shame. how people turn into expressions...

"adjust headphones, hate self, sigh.

people. they say they want honesty
but they're lying." - absolutely brilliant. very quotable. this again has such intense honesty that evokes immediate and deep connection and empathy.

actually from this line to the end i'm just in awe. like.

seriously boylan. you need to give yourself more credit. i'm favoriting this right now. :)

[Gandré]

people. they say they want honesty
but they’re lying. -------> of course, they are lying. That's why women pretend having an orgasm - when they didn't.

[Hedra Helix]

ahhh Uk spelling.....
actually I don't know what you changed or maybe it had time to sink in but it reads pretty damn perfect to me this mornin. I think ya edited some line breaks, thats my guess... ;)

but yesss love it love it! and im stoked youre not annoyed;) woo!

[mick weller]

brevity a b*****d is it now?
you did well to dump the above - you have the makings of another piece there...
now, most of us wouldn't have had the skill to leave 'em out
oh, and I forgot to say:
'...carnival of contradiction' 'maintain(ing) the farce' - rate good, tellin' thi lass tha's got talent, all rate

[Hedra Helix]

F*****g ayyye

it wont let me delete or edit my review...ugh..

haa
so heres the edited one, read this one



....


Omg Omg Omg I fcking love this from the first word!! yes!!!

go boylan!

Yes hang on im going to be brutal cos theres a couple nit picks but first Omg I love this!

first off the beginning was charged magic for my read cos my mind moves like this too, cant really explain that except that I get it, this part was ridiculous goodness:

"dishonesty's dangerous when you no longer believe in yourself � uptight, worthless, you trudge home; track six tugs at your heartstrings but the world weighs heavy on your puppet strings and there's no skip in your step."

Ive said this before but I love it when writers temp me into stealing, I wont
but I soooo want to
that s**t is tight. tricky flow perfect meaning, Ivy wishes this was mine grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

but yes goooood!

Ok much of the rest of this is awesome too, great fun to read, to see what your thoughts are and how cleverly, musically you made them
to give to us the greatest enjoyment.

Only critiques are that,
because you started out with a set up
and got to the real question after the "good"
I think in order for the audience to stick with you the entire way down you need to have a slight more spine in the piece, {hang on other readers dont stone me} your central thesis could be somehow even more solid to spin the gorgeous insanity off of. Do you know what I mean Boylan? I think its that disintigrating you're referring to, like its almost there, but there's some back ground noise or shuffling or sumptin, just a tad. But the clean jewel wants to emerge...

"sweeping, take a moment to energise yourself on the craziest broom-stick rodeo never seen
and practise laughing aloud, without a trace of self-consciousness � if children, lunatics {

[Hedra Helix]

Omg Omg Omg I fcking love this from the first word!! yes!!!

go boylan!

Yes hang on im going to be brutal cos theres a couple nit picks but first Omg I love this!

first off the beginning was charged magic for my read cos my mind moves like this too, cant really explain that except that I get it, this part was ridiculous goodness:

"dishonesty's dangerous when you no longer believe in yourself � uptight, worthless, you trudge home; track six tugs at your heartstrings but the world weighs heavy on your puppet strings and there's no skip in your step."

Ive said this before but I love it when writers temp me into stealing, I wont but I soooo want to that s**t is tight. tricky flow perfect meaning, Ivy wishes this was mine grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

but yes goooood!

Ok much of the rest of this is awesome too, great fun to read, to see what your thoughts are and how cleverly, musically you made them
to give to us the greatest enjoyment.

Only critiques are that,
1. because you started out with a set up and got to the real question after the good I think in order for the audience to stick with you the entire way down you need to have a slight more spine in the piece, a central thesis that is somehow solid to spin the gorgeous insanity off of.

"sweeping, take a moment to energise yourself on the craziest broom-stick rodeo never seen
and practise laughing aloud, without a trace of self-consciousness � if children, lunatics {

[Ivan_allanbard]

Hi, thank you for the review for my Tale Of The rock pieces! Your poem is great, by the way, I don't think there's something disintegrated, though I cannot say I'm an expert... It's true, honest, unusual... Why you don't start the sentences at least at some places with capitals? just a suggestion, sorry if that's irritating... Take care!

[mick weller]

we should and deserve to be honest with ourselves at least ...
'why do we pretend to be invincible'
for me it disintegrates at 'good' - this is a seperate trick, surely?
- once the rabbit is out of the hat you get into your stride with vengance
made me stop and think about the world around me...
honesty is one bitter pill fo'sure - what a wonderful roving eye you have
'tis well good and thinkworthy

[Emily B]

I thought it had an amazing flow. I can't pin-point any disintegration. I actually had to make a point to stop smiling. My boss knows that my work is not fun. I might have trouble explaining the joy I had reading your too true words. I've had this conversation so many times. That it was nice to meet the words in your work.

It seemed to me that you did something really tall here. Not sure if I can explain it. Your voice seemed to swell and become more. I even had a full night's sleep and, still, I'm not making sense. This is awesome writing. I was glad to meet it, today.