Earth [I]

They were right about this planet,

you know: ‘tis a flat-screen

and we droop across its landscape

like the dregs of a 3am house party

[idly picking at cardboard and

sucking burnt cheese from its nails];

exhausted but triumphant to be awake

in unnatural light. Dim glow

buzzes through the ashtrays and grease

and our stares are those of zombies

or babies, unable to support our own skulls

or do anything constructive without

being prodded. Disaster strikes and

we swap it for the more digestible

colours of cartoon energy; continents

could crumble and we would merely

change channel. Doesn’t the entire West

[secretly] wish for an international remote

control, so that we could point – zap – and

silence the constant violence; the senseless;

the too-complex; the it’s-all-our-fault-I-guess;

ourselves…overall, this big global mess?

 

Author's Note

When will I cure myself...this habit of dissolving into rhyming preachiness is very annoying.

Reviews

[MoonlitAngel]

Woah. This was amazing... But it rhymes? Should I reread it? Lol. It's very very good, and don't worry about how you write it. It's best the way it comes. From the heart. This is something that is very... Serene in some ways. I mean, one way you look at it, it seems rough, harsh. But then when you really understand it, it's very peaceful, just with tons of questions not being answered. Or a bunch of answers without questions. Which there wouldn't be any need for the questions, as long as they are being answered.... If that makes sense? Anyways, this was extremely good. I mean... Blew my mind away. Your a great writer.. Don't stop writing!!

--Blood

[L.V. Ana]

I really like this piece. I love how the last three lines synch up so well, and the word choice gives the piece a very distinct voice. I like what it says, as well; it puts my own thoughts about the world and our society into better words than I could have put them into.

[Emily B]

it rhymes? seriously, you always talk about the rhyming in your author's note and my jaw always drops open because I can't imagine that I didn't notice it. . . is it new? I really like it.

They were right about this planet, you know. And geez, maybe there's already a remote control to make that violence cease but it just isn't economically justifiable to the powers that be. There's so much here.