The Empty Chair

Tis the Season to be Jolly...Tis also a time when a lost loved one's memory can haunt the heart.

THE EMPTY CHAIR

Tis the season to be Jolly.. a time when family and friends show their gratitude at Thanksgiving. It's the season of "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street", "The Christmas Story." It is a time of warm fireplaces, and snow laying gently on pine tree branches, of looking at films of Christmas's past, a time of stories told and retold over the decades, by old familiar voices, a time to laugh at the same jokes. It is Christmas. It is family.

It is also a time to set one less plate on the table, a time where favorite chairs sit empty, and there are less gifts beneath the tree. A time when certain names are painfully avoided, a reminder that life never stops. People conceal the hurt, for fear of ruining the merry spirit. Hidden in the joy of watching everyone unwrapping their presents, we try to remember the children and their innocence. We bury the emptiness in the laughter of young children, not yet old enough to face the adult pain of a missing loved one.

It is a joyous time, yet a time to miss the scent of a father's cologne, the love of treasured wife, a mother's laugh, a son’s smile, a sibling’s missing presence, a good friend's spirit. It is ok to be sad during these days. It is not only ok, it is human. Speak their name. Talk about them as if they were there, because they are. Find an empty room and lay down and cry, but do not stay long. Honor the life that once was. Pay them tribute with your tears, but never forget what they would say if they saw you throw away your happiness because of their leaving. You honor the missing by using their memory as a source of strength, and not a reason to mourn.

You owe them that tribute to their life. However hard it is, it is their life that counts, not their passing. Your turn will come, just as their's did. How would you want those who loved you to remember you ? What a tribute to have the memory of your life continue to make them smile, and give them peace, and determination. It is a season that is difficult for many, but it should always remain a season of family. The chair will never be empty...it is Christmas.