Dirty Jack the Roller Coaster.

Lust and love.

Billions of people in the world, and we can only focus on this moment.

Sitting on his porch with five unfamiliar faces, its blissful. I force myself to stretch my legs out on the railing, to look less stiff, even though I can feel the chair I am leaning in jab my back. They're sloppy, but they pride themselves on this form of ease. Music pours from the speakers, cluttering the space around us. Words are spoken but not digested. "This song is like a ... ha ... f**k I don't know what the f**k I'm saying." One boy coos in my ear.

I nod awkwardly before turning back to the girl to my right, who is swaying her head vigorously to the beat.

The sky is black but the weather is humid. If I was alone I'd be panting, but I refuse to show that to these apathetic creatures. Even with their reluctance to notice anything but themselves, the last thing I could bear would be knowing I left them with the thought of me being different. 

None of them are smoking, which surprises me.

"Can't believe its already sunday." I chuckle, hoping to grasp someones attention. Couple of them nod in agreement, but no one wants to focus on school. Why would they? Half of us are failing our classes, and most of us have unhealthy relationships with one of our teachers or counselors.

My science professor has a "thing" for blondes, yet when I visit his office he sure f***s the s**t out of me and my brunette hair. He's a young man, with an uncontrollable golden retriever and barking wife. I'm failing his class yet I can't stay mad at him and his gorgeous face because he seems to be the only person that can please me. Even when I refuse to pleasure him he doesn't turn away from me. He knows everything about me, except for my dying desire to be with him. I try to pummel these feelings but they never seem to change.

As two boys vacate the porch I follow after them like a lost puppy. They don't turn me away, but open the door for me to squeeze in between the two. I look at my phone, glowing with five new notifications all reading "Jack". My science professor. The boys ignore the notifications, knowing very well my situation, for they are both sleeping with my counselor Ms. Richards, yet neither of them know that the other is sleeping with her.

They back out of the parking space and head down the deserted road. The radio is playing, making the entire automobile tremble with the sound of Lil Jon screaming.

"Hey can you drop me off at the dunkin donuts up the road?" I finally ask. 

"Yeah yeah. Hey did you hear bout the girl that worked there?"

"No, who you talkin bout?" I ask, confused.

"Eh don't mind him he don't know s**t. Just askin people where the hot girl with big b***s went." The other boy chimes in, with a smirk. 

The boy pulls to the side of the road and lets me out. I wave them off and dial Jack's number.

"Jack Brown speaking." he answers, his cool voice brings goose bumps to my skin.

"Hey you busy?" I smile foolishly, knowing he can't see me.

"God Jolene I've been trying to reach you for hours." he sighs, obviously relieved to hear from me.

"Sorry I was with friends." I shrug, hoping he challenges the conversation further.

"Oh. Uh what friends were you with?" He asks awkwardly. I frown, feeling guilt fill my body.

"Some girls from school. All losers." I lie, looking around into the darkness. "You busy?"

"I'm kind of in the middle of something right now." 

"What? Your wife finally trying to show some affection?" I chuckle. His silence stops my heart. "Oh ... yeah ok ... I'm actually late for something ... call you later?" I croak.

"Jolene ... I don't want to hurt you."

"How could you hurt me? She doesn't mean anything to you anymore right?" I bark a little too loud for comfort.

"Right. I'll call you tonight?" He asks.

"Yeah." I hang up, wiping my eyes. The diner across the street is open and before I can check my pockets for coins I cross the street and enter the run down joint.

Only a man at the counter and a couple by the window occupy the building. I throw myself into a booth and gaze out the window.

I know I'm not important to Jack. I'd be a fool to think otherwise, yet my heart can't help but burn for him. I gave more to him than I have given to myself. That might just be my hormones talking, but how could I forget my first? I lost my virginity to him on a night in the woods behind the school, the stars were hidden behind the trees that sheltered us. He didn't use protection.

The next week he took my neighbor to the exact same spot. She refused to give me details but I read her diary.

No one bothers me in the diner and before I know it I am getting a call from my mom.

"Hi mom." I answer softly.

"How' are you?"

"Great."

"When should I be expecting you home honey?"

"I think I'm gonna stay at Diane's tonight." I lie, feeling the casualty of it.

"Ok. Get some rest soon. You have school tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Love you." She says. I hang up on her, wishing I could tell her everything.

I wait for another thirty minutes before leaving the booth and going to the restroom.

I lock the door and dial Jack's number.

"Jolene?"

"I need you." I crack, trying to hold back my tears.

"Where are you?"

"Some fucked joint. Please come and get me. Please." I beg, crouching in a corner.

"Meet me at the Dunkin Donuts." He hangs up.

I wash my hands and run across the street, looking around cautiously.

Jack opens his car door and pulls me in. I smile at his shining face. He doesn't look annoyed, he looks worried. Truly worried. He drives the car into a vacant parking lot behind the dollar tree, four blocks down.

"Jolene are you ok?" He asks, holding my chin delicately.

"I just wanted to see you." I sniff, leaning closer to him.

"Cherrie is leaving tonight." Jack smiles weakly, a little hurt by his own words.

"For good?" I perk up.

"She gave me the papers over dinner. She wants a divorce."

"I'm sorry." I whisper, not looking away from him. Hoping he mentions me in his future plans.

"God you're beautiful." He kisses my forehead. I smile.

"I love you." I say. He looks at me for a second.

"You don't even know what love is."

"Every time you're not around my heart aches." I tremble.

"Cherrie's at a hotel tonight." Jack smirks.

"... I love you ... But I don't want to be your f**k buddy. Especially if you're also gonna be f*****g my neighbor."

"Julia? I ended that weeks ago."

"What about me? When you gonna end this?" I blurt, pushing away. Will this be our dramatic fall out?

"I was hoping we wouldn't."

"We huh?" I smile cautiously.

"Your eighteen. We can be real." He says softly, touching my hair.

"I'm still in high school. You'll be fired." I sigh.

"Then we'll go to court!" he shouts with a smile. "I love you. And now that I know you feel the same-"

"All this time I thought ... I thought I was nothing. Nothing to you."

He kisses me passionately, and the entire time we are connecting I remember how hard I have been trying to be like everyone else. To fit in. I fit with him, no matter what the world thinks. We are happy. 

Life is a roller coaster and this is one ride I want to take. Maybe the next roller coaster doesn't include Jack, but for now it does. And I'm ok with that.