Impermanence

In commemoration of yesterday's forgotten beauty.

Remember how he used

To hold your little hand,

Frail and unprotected,

In his, warm and rough, frayed with age and love

He was your armour

Amidst a barrage of arrows the world

Fired at you.

 

Remember how she used

To sing to you at night,

In that sweet melody

That melted the frost on the ice-capped mounts

She was your river

That carried you on its gentle flow –

Her protection.

 

Remember how they used

To careen down the

Glistening rain-soaked hills,

The light pellets making crowns on their heads,

Oh! Mother of pearl,

And opals that reflected

The beauty in the world.

 

Remember how it used

To grow, surely, strongly,

With budding blossoms along the way.

With bloody-red hues and dusty golden shadows,

Slipping into slumber at dusk,

Silently shielding all

From the harsh cries in the night.

 

Remember how it all

Used to be, my dear,

Because when this is over,

And you open those eyes, the world will burst

Into a million and one tears.

So preserve its fleeting glory,

Before destruction buries it.

 

 

Reviews

[Brown Eyed Girl]

I must admit I was a little unprepared for the turn this poem would take in the end. Don't get me wrong it is truth, it is reality, but it was hard to take, just like the real world is. So congratulations, you conveyed your message flawlessly. This is one of the better poems I have read in a long time. I only have one small suggestion to improve the flow. The breaking point you chose between lines seems off and a bit distracting. Usually when a line breaks you pause for a breath, but in this poem it seems your thought continued to the next line and the forced pause left me re-reading each line to continue the flow without the line break in order to hear what you were saying. Read it to yourself out loud and maybe that will help you hear what I'm saying. Here, though is an example:

"Remember how he used
To hold your little hand,"

If you were to read this out loud, would you pause after saying "used"? It would be better if this was one solid flowing line.

The imagery in this poem is absolutely beautiful. I imagine these are childhood memories, and although I have none such as those you described I could feel what it must have felt like. You painted a stunning and wonderful picture. Had you not, I would not have felt so disappointed when the dream was shattered in the end. You did a fantastic job of putting the reader back into reality. It was wonderful. If you do decide to make changes, let me know. I would love reading it again. Thank you for sharing this!