10-11-15

    

         10-11-15

I travel among them unseen.  I listen to their conversations and watch them perform daily routines.  Their actions are both instinctive and sometimes flawed, but they rely on them in social situations and domestic settings.  I believe perhaps it is programmed by nature.  Who or what controls nature is a debatable subject best left on the doorstep of scholars. 

Time as I see it is a manmade convenience.  It is necessary to keep but impossible to harness.  I never much bothered with it as each year simply marks off another wasted chapter in my story book called life, but here is the bright side: there is nothing greater than excepting fate.  I suppose I lost my way.  It is hard to say exactly where.  I haven’t thought it over.  I am starting to believe humanity is a curse inside my head.  But even if it happens to be so I will manage to carry on the best way I know how. 

I seldom believe anything holds value in today’s life.  Everything is about personal gain and pleasure.  Well, I have to side with pleasure more often than not, but wasting too much energy in one aspect of emotion defeats the purpose of life which brings me to this question:  what is the purpose of life?

I often forget whether I am human or not.  I figure even if I am half human and half something else it all boils down to common sense.  Is there really a sovereign occupying the mighty heavens overhead who is in control of everything?

Thinking back I cannot remember when or where I was born.  Maybe the occasion never existed.  Half of my memories are built by fabrications I dreamt up.  So I must admit myself shy to opening up.  I am not sure what is accepted and what is not, though I have a pretty good idea.  I understand morals and am well educated in standards and practices.  For some the two go hand in hand but for some, like me, standards and practices read too much into actions and even a simple picture.  Instead of conveying the wisdom of art they worry about offending someone.  I discern in this fabulous day and age it might very well be significant issue worthy of concern.  Some people allow the smallest bit of nonsense to upset their lives.  I cannot say I am innocent of this myself, but I try to limit it.